Introducing the new and improved Terry Bradshaw.
At least, that's what the NFL legend was hoping to accomplish on tonight's all-new episode of The Bradshaw Bunch. It all began after a business meeting regarding his namesake whiskey, Bradshaw Bourbon. As Terry told his family over lunch, "We found out our clientele is kind of cool."
A reasonable response is to get an ear piercing, right? According to Terry, yes.
"This is not your grandfather's bourbon," he told his wife Tammy, trying to justify the new look. "This bourbon's a hip bourbon. It's a cool bourbon."
Plus, "Morgan Freeman has one," Terry reasoned.
He was able to test out the look since his daughter Lacey had a few temporary earrings on hand, but this just made him want to make over his image even more.
As the Bradshaw patriarch put it in a confessional, "I'm hip, I'm young, I'm cheugy."
Minutes later when he learned what that last word meant, Terry made sure to correct the record: "I am not outdated!"
In an attempt to prove it, Terry's next step was to purchase—err, rent—a Lamborghini. Joining him in his quest to be "cool" was his eight-year-old granddaughter Zurie, but she wasn't exactly impressed with the car.
"Will you please not go fast?" she asked sitting shotgun.
Tammy wasn't thrilled at the idea, either. "Oh my gosh. What is this?" she said when Terry pulled in the driveway. "Did we need this?"
"The key question is, can you get out of it?" she added, though her question was quickly answered as Terry struggled to climb out of the low car.
He insisted he's just "trying it out," but it was clear that Terry felt a little closer to his goal of being "hip." He even started listing off his new accessories, much to Tammy's amusement: "Hat on backwards, gold chains around my neck, big diamond studded Rolex watch, pinky ring."
Thankfully, Zurie was there to humble him.
"You don't need the earrings, you don't need the Lamborghini, and you don't need your back waxed to be cool," she told Terry, "because you're already cool and you're my papi."
And just like that, his mission was complete.
Watch the full episode of The Bradshaw Bunch here.