One month after the passing of her husband Jimmy Hayes, Kristen Hayes is still adjusting to a new normal.
On Sept. 23, Kristen—now a single mom to the couple's two sons: Beau, 2, and 4-month-old Mac—penned a touching tribute to the late NHL player.
"What I would give to go back to this night," Kristen captioned a series of Instagram photos of their family of four. "At the beach, holding hands, kissing, laughing, throwing rocks, putting smiles on our babies' faces. That's all we ever wanted to do. And we did it. And I will continue to do it."
According to the Boston Globe, law enforcement and first responders rushed to the former Boston Bruins pro's home in Milton, Mass. in the early morning hours of Aug. 23, where Jimmy was pronounced dead. According to police, Jimmy's death is not considered suspicious, but the cause of his death remains unconfirmed. He was 31 at the time of his passing.
"Today is one month without you. How??" Kristen, said of her husband of several years. "I could sit here and write about how this has been the hardest, worst month of my life, but what good would that do? Instead, today, I look back on this month and am in awe of how strong myself, the boys and our families have been."
Touching on her family having to adjust to life after the tragedy, she continued, "Our lives were turned upside down. Words can't even come close to expressing how much I miss and need you so I'm not even gonna go there on here, but damn, this sucks."
As a professional hockey right winger, Jimmy played more than 330 games throughout his career for four teams, including the Bruins, New Jersey Devils, Florida Panthers, and Chicago Blackhawks.
"Keep sending me signs and giving me strength," Kristen concluded her heartbreaking message. "We love you always, dadda."