Bella Hadid may look like a million dollars, but that doesn't mean she always feels that way.
The 24-year-old model spoke candidly to Vogue about the insecurities she felt as she began her career in 2015, recalling how "nervous" she was to appear in front of cameras in heavy makeup.
She specifically remembered going to the 2016 Cannes Film Festival, humbly saying that the Alexandre Vauthier design is "apparently a very iconic red dress moment."
"I was nervous in this dress. I look very sexual and all of these things," Bella recalled. "I was still nervous by cameras and nervous about having a lot of makeup on and nervous about this slit."
Despite the prestige of walking a Cannes red carpet, in Alexandre Vauthier no less, the model shared, "I kind of get embarrassed by this moment still, even though this dress is gorgeous. It's just, again, this doesn't feel so much like me and I think that this was the start of the Bella persona that everyone sees in me."
It was in Cannes that Bella's "alter ego," whom she named Belinda, emerged. According to Bella, she and Belinda are complete opposites, describing how the alter ego is "very va-va-voom."
"Bless her, love her. She was very nervous," Gigi Hadid's little sister joked.
Bella went on to explain why she "never smiled" on runways or in photos, saying that she was "in a really bad place, physically and mentally."
"So I look very sad in this picture, but I was actually very happy," Bella remembered as she looked at a photo of her closing the Fendi show for the late Karl Lagerfeld. "I remember looking around at everybody while I was walking because I was kind of taking in the moment. I think I cried after actually. It was the most beautiful moment."
The first time Bella "really felt sexy and beautiful" wouldn't come until the 2018 Met Gala: Heavenly Bodies. Dressed in an ensemble from Chrome Hearts, Bella said she "felt like myself."
In the video, Bella also shares that she's a natural blonde like Gigi and Anwar Hadid, but went for a darker hair color, because "I wanted to be the opposite of everyone else in my family."
Lastly, Bella looked back at the moment she wore a pink shirt and shirt on a balcony in Europe this summer. "I'm so happy in this picture, for the first time, I think, in my whole adult life," she shared. "Here, I feel just at ease, like happy and able to work. I feel good about myself. I felt beautiful compared to the girl I see in the beginning, she was so sad and she's so content and happy."
"To see that progression, I feel blessed that I made it out alive of that mental state I was in for so many years," Bella reflected. "So, it feels good."