Our prayers have been answered!
Riverdale is on its way back to finish out season five, and E! News has an exclusive first look at what the second half of the season entails. As usual, you could not possibly begin to comprehend it all upon just one viewing, or even two. We watched it five or six times just to really take in all the wild things that appear to be happening in the aftermath of the prison break and Jughead (Cole Sprouse) disappearing during his maple mushroom trip, and while we're quite worried about Betty (Lili Reinhart) wielding a chainsaw, we're most concerned with the fact that Cheryl (Madelaine Petsch) and Penelope (Nathalie Boltt) "started a ministry."
What, exactly, does that mean? Does no one remember how badly things went the last time somebody ran a cult in Riverdale? Do the words "Chad Michael Murray" not ring any bells?
In any case, Cheryl and Penelope's attempts at taming this "wicked" town don't appear to be helping. Everyone's still making out, threatening each other, opening brief cases full of cash, actively trying to kill people and dancing sexily, so nothing has changed at all. There's also some sort of demon roaming the woods, which is new!
In other, happier news, Josie (Ashleigh Murray) has returned from her sojourn to Katy Keene, and Toni (Vanessa Morgan) now has a baby in her arms, which we love to see.
Riverdale returns for more shenanigans on Wednesday, Aug. 11, and the first episode back promises a bit of the show's trademark insanity. Per The CW, "On the heels of a massive prison break and Jughead's disappearance following the use of psychedelics, we return to utter chaos across the formerly known town of Riverdale. The gang must do what they do best—solve the mystery at hand and fight the evil that has seeped throughout their beloved town by catching those who have wronged it."
As usual, we cannot await.
Riverdale returns Wednesday, Aug. 11 at 8 p.m. on The CW.