Nabela Noor, best known to her six million TikTok followers as just Nabela, said she is "forever changed" after she suffered a pregnancy loss this week.
The influencer, 29, explained that she found out she was five weeks pregnant on June 1, following nearly six years of trying to conceive with her husband Seth Martin. However, her joy turned to pain when she lost the baby one week later, she said in a YouTube video posted on Friday, June 11.
She began by describing how she and Seth found out they were expecting. "I didn't believe it. I took test after test after test, and it was positive, positive, positive, and I was not used to that. I've never been pregnant. Never had a positive test result, and I was so happy. I was so excited and shocked," Nabela said, adding, "We cried so many tears of joy, and I soaked it all in."
Describing it as a "high risk" pregnancy, their "miracle" baby meant even more to the couple because of the challenges they faced. As she said, "I had given up. I was experiencing a period of hopelessness."
The "Pockets of Peace" creator continued, "Little things started to become natural. I would take my hand and just place it on my belly, and I would talk to the baby… I would wake up in the morning and say, ‘Good morning.'"
Through tears, she shared, "It was a short, short window of time where I got to live in this little fairy tale where I was pregnant, and I was talking about a baby inside me—things I just never thought I could do. Never."
Nabela said she knew "in my heart" it was a boy and had a "beautiful" name picked out. "It was a dream of a week. It was the best week of my life," she reflected.
However, one week later, she woke up bleeding. "I was in so much pain, and I had been for about a day or so," she recalled.
She and Seth went to the emergency room on Tuesday, June 8, and were in "limbo" for six hours. "It was just a dark time and it was scary and no one was giving us answers," Nabela added of the "traumatizing experience."
After doctors ran tests and did an ultrasound, she eventually learned she lost the baby.
The self-love advocate cried while admitting, "The toughest [part] was and has been coming home from the hospital and still having the pain of this miscarriage, and there's no baby."
Nabela explained she wanted to film the video now, while she's "hurting," because she needs the "support" from her followers.
The YouTuber then read a passage from her journal, sharing, "I want to be optimistic and hopeful but I am just broken... I feel no hope, just emptiness," while also expressing gratitude for the "spontaneous" and miraculous pregnancy she had. "I wonder who this baby would have become, what they could have done in this world, how they would have been my world," she read. "They let me feel like a mom, even it was just for a week."
On May 16, Nabela posted a fertility Q&A video all about "Miscarriages, Adoption and Pregnancy Pressure" before she even knew she was pregnant. She said she was trusting the process, but noted she and Seth had been trying to have a child ever since they got married in 2015.
At the time, she said her doctor warned her she would likely suffer multiple miscarriages if she was ever "lucky" enough to be pregnant. "That fear has been looming over me," she confessed.
Nabela said that "no matter what," she and Seth want to have children, and they've been trying to adopt from Bangladesh.