This is the end of Seth Rogen's dignity...
The Long Shot star opened up to Howard Stern about his "odd" encounter with Tom Cruise in the mid-2000s. As Seth told the host on Monday, May 10, Tom made a "tempting" pitch about Scientology and even acquired some "blackmail" material of Seth peeing into a Snapple bottle. And no, this article isn't a Mad Libs.
Seth, 39, elaborated on the entire "bizarre" story, after writing about the experience in his upcoming book of essays, Yearbook, out May 11.
It began nearly 15 years ago with an invitation to go over to Tom's house, along with comedy producer Judd Apatow, to talk about movies. As Seth put it, this was at the "peak" of Tom Cruise "mania," shortly after Tom and then-wife Katie Holmes welcomed daughter Suri in 2006.
But the meeting didn't start off very glamorous, to say the least.
"I was driving up to his house. I had to pee so bad," Seth recalled. "I was nervous to meet him anyway. I didn't want to meet him and be like, 'Hi, nice to meet you. Can I pee? Can I use your bathroom?'"
He continued, "It was going to be an awkward first interaction, so he had this really long snaking driveway leading to his house... I stopped halfway up the driveway, kind of in the woods, above Sunset Blvd., and I peed in a Snapple bottle in my car. And then I sealed the bottle and left it there."
But the embarrassing story didn't end there, as Seth realized his private moment may not have gone unnoticed. "As I was leaving the meeting, I was snaking back down the driveway and, as I was passing the exact spot that I peed in, I noticed a red light in the woods," he shared. "And there was a security camera literally pointed exactly at where I was peeing."
Seth joked that he hopes "the tapes" are being kept somewhere in a file "of Tom Cruise's blackmail."
However, that wasn't all Seth had to say about his "bizarre" and "very absurd" meeting with the Top Gun star, now 58.
As the Neighbors jokester explained, "There was this very weird period, where he had had his child, but no one had seen his child and there was genuine speculation as to whether the child was real." During this era, he and Judd got the call to go to Tom's house, where Seth met Katie and baby Suri. He noted, "I remember meeting this baby, being like, 'This poor baby doesn't know she's like the most talked about person on the planet.' Which is a lot of pressure."
Several hours after those introductions, the meeting took a turn. According to Seth, Scientology eventually came up in the conversation, specifically "how weird" Tom has "looked in the press lately."
"He said, 'I think the pharmaceutical industry is making me look bad,'" Seth said, adding that he felt this was "an odd conjecture to make" and "was a surprising thing to hear."
The comment was followed by a "very loaded moment," as Seth put it.
"I'll never forget the wording he used," he said, before recounting what Tom allegedly told him: "'It's like with Scientology,' he said, 'If you let me just tell you what it was really about... just give me like 20 minutes to, like, really just tell you what it was about, you would say, 'No f--king way. No f--king way.'"
Seth's reaction to the pitch? "The wording, I was like, 'Is that a good thing to be saying?'"
He and Judd looked at each other, and Seth worried about the outcome of the weighty moment. "Is he gonna bite? Am I gonna bite? Can we come out of this? Are we strong enough to have him do this to us and not be converted?" Seth reflected of his state of mind at the time. "I don't know if I am. I'm generally a weak-willed, weak-minded person. I would assume on the grand scale of people, if they got [Tom], what chance do I have?"
Seth feels that he "dodged that bullet" thanks to Judd's intervention. "Thank god Judd was like, 'Eh, I think we're good. Let's just talk about movies and stuff.'"
Seth felt relieved, saying it had been "tempting" and "if I was there alone, I would be singing a very different tune right now."