Kristen Stewart, Robert Pattinson, Twilight

Summit Entertainment

While I'm happy about some TV newbies being picked up, overall the just-announced batch of pilots seem pretty bland, don't you think?

Where is the fresh new series about two movie costars secretly in love with each other even though they're not "allowed" to be? Think of it as the drama-love version of the inside peak that is 30 Rock.

It would be a real (albeit scripted) behind-the-scenes look at what really goes down during the making of a major young love film franchise when the lead actors start hooking up for real—much to their pissy boss's dissatisfaction.

Think of all the episode possibilities! Clandestine couplings in the coatroom at press power breakfasts! Battling gossip columnists bickering over whether the stars are together or not! Contractual stipulations that all kissing, promotional and otherwise, must never include tongue...why, it's all too delish for words!

'Cause that's the kind of crap that makes for good TV, Mr. and Ms. TV Execs. Call it Forbidden Moon, maybe? And who should star? Amber Tamblyn and Russell Brand? Funny!

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