Karissa Shannon, Hugh Hefner, Crystal Harris, Kristina Shannon

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Hugh Hefner is not sitting in the Playboy Mansion pining away for former girlfriend Holly Madison.

Hef came to me today to clear up new reports that claim—he says falsely—that he's trying to win Madison back because she is the true love of his life. "The notion that I would want her back as a girlfriend is bizarre," he said.

Holly is a good friend, but nothing more, he said.

Besides, he's got his new girls in his life...

"I am now in one of the best relationships in memory with Crystal Harris and the twins," he said. "I'm not going to screw it up with former girlfriends."

Shortly after the 83-year-old Playboy mogul and the Girls Next Door (Holly, Kendra Wilkinson and Bridget Marquardt) broke up, he quickly began seeing Harris and 19-year-old sisters Karissa and Kristina Shannon.

"I would not trade Crystal Harris for anybody in the else in the world," he swooned. "And then this thing comes out and today is Crystal's birthday…It's ridiculous."

Hopefully, Hef's birthday present made her feel better. "I got her a puppy," he said. "It's an English Spaniel. It's absolutely wonderful. We've been trying to come up with a name for it."

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