Why Meghan Markle Decided to Write About Her Miscarriage

After Meghan Markle shared in an essay that she suffered a miscarriage in July, E! News learned she decided to write about her experience to start the healing process across different types of loss.

By Elyse Dupre Nov 25, 2020 6:00 PMTags
Watch: Meghan Markle Reveals She Suffered a Miscarriage

Meghan Markle published a personal essay for The New York Times on Wednesday, Nov. 25 in which she shared she suffered a miscarriage in July.

E! News learned the Duchess of Sussex wanted to detail her experience to start the healing process across the different types of loss from this entire year. Prince Harry was supportive, and the couple mutually decided to share the news. E! News also learned they had notified their families of the miscarriage and that Harry and Meghan are both doing well. 

In the deeply personal piece, Meghan recalled how the day started like any other with their 18-month-old son Archie Harrison. However, she soon realized something was wrong.

"After changing his diaper, I felt a sharp cramp," she wrote. "I dropped to the floor with him in my arms, humming a lullaby to keep us both calm, the cheerful tune a stark contrast to my sense that something was not right. I knew, as I clutched my firstborn child, that I was losing my second."

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Hours later, they were at the hospital, with Harry holding her hand. "I felt the clamminess of his palm and kissed his knuckles, wet from both our tears," she continued. "Staring at the cold white walls, my eyes glazed over. I tried to imagine how we'd heal."

At one point in the essay, Meghan looked back at the family's 2019 tour of Africa. She wrote about how she was "exhausted," breastfeeding and "trying to keep a brave face in the very public eye."

She also recalled how journalist Tom Bradby, who had been following the couple for ITV News' documentary Harry & Meghan: An African Journey, had asked her about the pressure she'd been under. Meghan thanked him for his concern, noting not many people had asked if she was OK, and admitted "it's a very real thing to be going through behind the scenes."

"I answered him honestly, not knowing that what I said would resonate with so many—new moms and older ones, and anyone who had, in their own way, been silently suffering," Meghan added in the essay. "My off-the-cuff reply seemed to give people permission to speak their truth. But it wasn't responding honestly that helped me most, it was the question itself."

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She then wondered if this single question could help others. "Sitting in a hospital bed, watching my husband's heart break as he tried to hold the shattered pieces of mine, I realized that the only way to begin to heal is to first ask, 'Are you OK?'" then she asked. "Are we?"

As the piece continued, Meghan reflected on how "this year has brought so many of us to our breaking points." She wrote about the deaths of George Floyd and Breonna Taylor, the coronavirus pandemic and the polarized state of the world. She also reflected on how so many people experience the "unbearable grief" that she and Harry did over the summer.

"We have learned that when people ask how any of us are doing, and when they really listen to the answer, with an open heart and mind, the load of grief often becomes lighter—for all of us," she wrote. "In being invited to share our pain, together we take the first steps toward healing."

At the end, she encouraged readers to continue to ask one question. "Are we OK?" With optimism, she concluded, "We will be."