A race for Rachel's heart!
The coronavirus pandemic has taken hold on The Bradshaw Bunch in recent weeks, and as fans of the E! show surely recall, it didn't take long for NFL legend and family patriarch Terry Bradshaw to go "quarantine crazy."
We've seen him dine on worms and dress up in Daisy Dukes, but on tonight's all-new episode, Terry finally put his boredom to good use.
More specifically, he had two problems he was hoping to solve. One involved setting up his recently single daughter Rachel on a virtual date—something that would help her get over her ex-boyfriend and dissuade her from going out, socializing and potentially contracting COVID-19—and the other would help him rake in some extra money.
Terry definitely has experience when it comes to the former, though his matchmaking hasn't exactly proved successful. This time, he's presenting the 33-year-old with a friend's son—and not just any friend, but a preacher.
"You're having the same problem my daughter's having," Terry tells the suitor named Brady on a Zoom call. "With the virus, you can't go anywhere and you can't meet anybody. So I figured, what the heck, I get you on here, I'm gonna hook you guys up and you just, you know, do your magic!"
Terry then calls Rachel in the room to discuss the idea of setting her up with Brady.
One big problem: Brady is still on the call, unbeknownst to Rachel!
Though Rachel didn't say anything bad, and she even agreed to meet Brady, she was still mortified when her dad showed her the active Zoom call.
"Dad, what the f--k are you doing?!" Rachel said in a confessional. "Thank god I had my hair and makeup done."
Lucky for Rachel, the conversation went well!
"Listen, I know what my sister likes," Erin explained. "So if it takes me hooking her up with a hottie from The Bachelorette, I'm gonna do what I gotta do."
Rachel expressed that while she was appreciative of her family wanting to help, "I have this feeling it's turning into more of a competition than them actually caring about my needs."
"However I would be angrier about it if the guys all weren't so attractive," she added. "So there's that."
Meanwhile, Terry was dealing with his other problem: being out of work!
"I talked to my agent Ira today, and he goes, 'You've taken a major hit at everything you do' because all my work is to the public," Terry explained. "Thanks to the coronavirus, we've had two commercials cancelled."
Thankfully, Terry said his agent was working to get him a "big" partnership.
The gig? A spokesperson for an erectile dysfunction treatment.
"I don't care how much money they're offering you, you do not need to do that," Rachel told her dad, to which he replied, "It's my penis!"
Despite every one of his family members being against the idea, Terry continued to entertain it throughout the episode. At one point, he even performed a mock audition.
While attempting to convince his wife Tammy, Terry pleaded, "A lot of men, their confidence as a man comes from being able to perform!"
"So you want to do it for the good of humanity?" Tammy responded. "Well then maybe you should do it for free."
And that was pretty much the end of that!
As far as Rachel's quest for love, she ultimately decided to "take the power back" in her own hands.
She told her family that in true Bachelorette style, she had chosen one of their picks for her, and he'd be showing up to the house later that day.
"Who's gonna get a rose tonight?" she joked.
In a bit of a surprise, Rachel wound up choosing her dad's pick, Brady!
He showed up with flowers in hand, and even though the short meeting was a bit anticlimactic since Brady couldn't get within six feet of the family, Terry gave him some reassurance: "I look forward to being able to have you inside the house!"
Of course, he also warned Brady to stick to "the Zoom thing" because that way, "there's no touchy feely."
Rachel was, of course, embarrassed.
"Look at it this way Rachel, it can never get worse than this moment right here for him," Tammy said amid all of the laughter. "So if he makes it through this, it'll be a breeze!"