Lady Gaga Shares the Heartbreaking Reason She Viewed Her Alter-Ego as Her "Biggest Enemy"

Lady Gaga, whose real name is Stefani Germanotta, said her famous alter-ego was once also her "biggest enemy."

By Kaitlin Reilly Sep 20, 2020 7:56 PMTags
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In a candid new interview with CBS correspondent Lee Cowan, Lady Gaga revealed the resentment she had towards fame which fueled the writing of her album Chromatica.

Speaking about the dark lyrics on her latest studio album, released May 29, Gaga shared that they all came from a time in her life when she wasn't sure she made the right decision in becoming a famous performer.

"I hated being famous. I hated being a star. I felt exhausted and used up," Gaga, whose real name is Stefani Germanotta, explained. At one point, she even pushed back against the music she created.

"I [was] looking at [my] piano, and thinking, 'You ruined my life.' During that time, I was like, 'You made me Lady Gaga. My biggest enemy is Lady Gaga.' That's what I was thinking: My biggest enemy is her,'" she explained.

Gaga said she felt particularly trapped by how being famous robbed her of personal moments.

Lady Gaga's Many Masks at the 2020 MTV VMAs

"You can't go to the grocery store now. If you go to dinner with your family, somebody comes to the table, you can't have a dinner with your family without it being about you. It's always about you. All the time it's about you," she explained to Cowan.

Gaga also discussed how after two and a half years of mental anguish—during which time she said she thought of suicide "every day"—she found her way out of the negative mindset.

Kevin Winter/MTV VMAs 2020/Getty Images for MTV

Adding that friends like Chromatica collaborators Elton John and Ariana Grande helped lift her up, Gaga stated that she no longer harbors such bad feelings towards the pop star persona that skyrocketed her to fame. 

"I don't hate Lady Gaga anymore," the A Star is Born actress explained. "I found a way to love myself again, even when I thought that was never going to happen. Now I look at my piano and say 'Oh, my piano that I love so much.' My piano that lets me speak. My piano that lets me make poetry. My piano that is mine."

This isn't the first time that Gaga has opened up about her mental health. She previously revealed she suffered from PTSD following a sexual assault at age 19, which led to chronic physical pain. In the Netflix documentary Lady Gaga: Five Foot Two, she further discussed her physical struggles as well as showcased vulnerable emotional moments.

Currently, Gaga is promoting her new book, Channel Kindness: Stories of Kindness and Community, which is a collection of 51 stories of kindness, bravery and resilience from young people submitted through the singer's Born This Way Foundation.

Watch Gaga's interview with CBS above.