Mike Marsland/Mike Marsland/WireImageFollowing her untimely death, Caroline Flack's unshared words can be read.
On Saturday, a lawyer for the Flack family confirmed that Caroline took her own life and was found in her east London flat. During the coroner's inquest on Wednesday, it was said the 40-year-old was pronounced dead on the scene after she could not be revived.
Now, Flack's family has publicly released a message Caroline purportedly penned for social media, but was allegedly advised not to publish. In late December, she wrote on Instagram that she had "been advised not to go on social media," but took a moment to wish fans a happy Christmas and express her love. "This kind of scrutiny and speculation is a lot to take on for one person to take on their own... I'm a human being at the end of the day and I'm not going to be silenced when I have a story to tell and a life to keep going with .... I'm taking some time out to get feeling better and learn some lessons from situations I've got myself into to," she wrote at the time.
According to Eastern Daily Press, which published her formerly private statement in full, Caroline sent it to her mother in late January. "So many untruths were out there, but this is how she felt and my family and I would like people to read her own words," mom Christine Flack told EDP.
In the message, the former Love Island host addressed her December 2019 arrest for alleged assault of her boyfriend, Lewis Burton, who defended her online after the incident. She pleaded not guilty and a trial was scheduled to begin in March.
"For a lot of people, being arrested for common assault is an extreme way to have some sort of spiritual awakening but for me it's become the normal. I've been pressing the snooze button on many stresses in my life - for my whole life. I've accepted shame and toxic opinions on my life for over 10 years and yet told myself it's all part of my job. No complaining," she began. "The problem with brushing things under the carpet is .... they are still there and one day someone is going to lift that carpet up and all you are going to feel is shame and embarrassment."
Recalling the arrest, Caroline wrote, "Within 24 hours my whole world and future was swept from under my feet and all the walls that I had taken so long to build around me, collapsed. I am suddenly on a different kind of stage and everyone is watching it happen."
Flack, who stepped down from hosting Love Island after the arrest, called the alleged incident "an accident." "I've been having some sort of emotional breakdown for a very long time. But I am NOT a domestic abuser. We had an argument and an accident happened. An accident," she continued. "The blood that someone SOLD to a newspaper was MY blood and that was something very sad and very personal."
As she concluded her statement, the former X Factor presenter apologized to her family and friends and shared why she had decided to speak up, though the message ultimately went unpublished while she was alive.
"The reason I am talking today is because my family can't take anymore. I've lost my job. My home. My ability to speak. And the truth has been taken out of my hands and used as entertainment. I can't spend every day hidden away being told not to say or speak to anyone," she said. "I'm not thinking about 'how I'm going to get my career back.' I'm thinking about how I'm going to get mine and my family's life back."