Beverley Mitchell is facing her pain.
Last November, the 7th Heaven alum revealed publicly that she had suffered a miscarriage just weeks after learning she was pregnant with twins. This week, the actress, who is mom to 5-year-old daughter Kenzie and 4-year-old son Hutton found herself reflecting on the family's great loss.
"You see, if I didn't miscarry, I would have a baby, possibly two babies joining our family. Though I understand in my heart that this was not our path, I can't help but wonder. Through this process, I have come to terms with it and have been ok; I talk about it often just because I don't want to hide the fact that it happened, I had a miscarriage. I am not looking for sympathy just the acknowledgment that it happened, because what hurts the most is the dismissal of it," Mitchell shared on Instagram and her blog.
As the star explained, this week has triggered some emotions. "This week has thrown me a curveball, and I have been downright SAD. I've been struggling, I'm physically fine but my heart hurts, and my mind is tired. My husband is a saint and has been so kind and supportive; he lets me feel what I need to but is there to pick up the pieces and just hold me. I look at our two beautiful [kids] and I am so incredibly grateful but in my heart I know we are not complete, I so strongly feel there is another little soul waiting to join our family, and that is where I struggle. "
As the actress continued, "The hardest part was allowing myself to feel SAD and be ok with NOT BEING OK. Because as it has before, this will pass and life will go on. Life will unfold in the magic that it is if I just let it. I just have to keep the faith and trust that time will heal."
Mitchell explained that she wanted to be transparent with her readers and urged anyone who is suffering to take time and acknowledge their feelings, but also embrace the "beauty" and "magic" of life.
"Everyone grieves differently and what has thrown me off is I honestly felt that I had gotten through that process, but it snuck up on me. I find myself yearning for those babies I see everywhere, and my heart hurts. And this week I let it hurt. I gave myself a week to feel it all, the sadness, the exhaustion, the pure frustration," she wrote. "And boy did I feel it. But this week I have made the decision to move forward, to focus on the beauty of my life, my incredible husband and the two most beautiful angels that I could not be more grateful. This week will be a good week because that is the space I am creating."