Florian Seefried/Getty Images• Somehow, we doubt Jennifer Aniston and Owen Wilson foresaw downing doggy snacks as part of the gig when they signed on for Marley & Me. Did someone say bacon?
• Forget celebrity fragrances, Halle Berry—these days, every star thinks they're an author. Lauren Conrad has a tasty-looking first cover and Sharon Stone is trying to get a collection of short stories published.
• Molly Sims sure is lovely, but we're not quite sure why a Sex and the City movie sequel should give us hope for a Las Vegas movie.
• Kate Beckinsale uses eats her noodle.
• Calista Flockhart has never seen Star Wars (minus 10 good girlfriend points).
• Mercy! Duffy jumps on the no-pants bandwagon.
• Dear Big John from Rock of Love Bus With Bret Michaels: Thank you for giving the most fruitless yet hilarious directions ever to grace reality TV. "I specifically asked you not to be slutty and whorey," he tells the trashed and trashtastic Farrah and Kelsey. Classic. Love, Rise 'n' Shine
Memo to the stars of Big Pic: When someone puts a camera in your face, try not to look so happy about it.