Hello, Academy? We need to talk.
Remember when Kevin Hart pulled out of hosting the 2019 Oscars after being criticized over past homophobic comments? And then you guys went with the whole, "No host this year!" thing, and we were all like, uh, OK, sure, guess that could work, lil' odd though.
And then Oscars Sunday came and Tina Fey, Amy Poehler and Maya Rudolph stepped out onstage. What?
And our hearts leaped out of our chests. And then Tina said, "We are not your hosts. But we're going to stand here a little too long so that the people who get USA Today tomorrow will think that we hosted."
That's funny stuff. And it hurts.
The three would go on to delight us with more zingers, such as, "There won't be a popular movie category, and Mexico is not paying for the wall," before they presented the award for best supporting actress.
You tease us, you tease.
So Academy, let's get this straight: Tina, Amy and Maya, who last reunited onstage for a 2015 SNL Christmas episode, had no other plans this Sunday, and were perfectly willing to grace us with their presence to present an award and make the Oscars even better, just for a few minutes, and no one thought to ask, "Hey, ladies, we don't have a host...HERE'S A GREAT IDEA! How about you guys just HOST THE WHOLE SHOW?"
Gonna leave this right here, and actually, gonna assume that you did ask them, and they made up some excuse and declined, because they obviously hate us...right?
Got it. Not gonna lie, that stings.
So, maybe next year, extend the invitation again? You see, when Tina and Amy get onstage together, it's comedy gold. Remember the 2015 Golden Globes? Come on, let's one-up that! Because when Maya joins the two, the trio, in the words of Marie Kondo, spark more joy than you could ever imagine. They are made for hosting the Oscars.
We love the Oscars. But you know what would make the 2020 Oscars extra great? If you got Tina, Amy and Maya to co-host the show.
Do whatever you need to do to make this happen...we have faith in you.
We'd like to thank the Academy.