Mary Hart, Angelina Jolie

ZumaPress.com, AP Photo/Susan Walsh

If you’re a follower of any sort of entertainment news—and if you’re not, God bless you—you may have read/heard/seen/caressed a report last weekend that Angelina Jolie had given birth and that, on second glance, no, actually, she hadn’t. The whole thing has caused a Krakatoa-size kerfluffle within celebrity gossip circs, so much so that some outlets are now starting to question their otherwise totally unimpeachable sources. (We put that in italics so that you would read it as sarcasm.) None are more chastened by this catastrophic mess than the folks who first reported the bogus story, that bastion of journalistic excellence, Entertainment Tonight.

"Entertainment Tonight takes this very seriously and is, of course, concerned that the show may have been victimized by someone allegedly posing as a member of Ms. Jolie’s team," the show said in a statement Wednesday. "We are actively investigating the matter and are reaching out to law enforcement agencies."

We’re not sure of a lot of the ins and outs of most legal wherefores and why nots but it seems like ET might be trying to deflect the blame a bit there. If your primary news source is a shifty email, you might consider getting a somewhat more legitimate confirmation before waking Mary Hart from suspended animation.

But hey, if breaking the story takes precedence over substantiating the story, here are some more premature headlines ripped directly from our Baja Fresh-fevered imagination of the future. Can’t wait to see them on the show tonight, guys!

Obama enters final year of presidency, Clinton to concede next week

• Former Late Night host Jimmy Fallon found living in abandoned Dunkin’ Donuts

Johnny Depp voted Sexiest Man Alive at 88

Hills star Heidi Montag makes rare public appearance, apologizes for inciting Judgment Day

• America loves soccer, PBS

• Time capsules exhumed and stolen amid rumors of possible gasoline content

Willard Scott exhumed and stolen amid rumors of possible maple syrup content

• Ghost of Mick Jagger announces 2025 Rolling Stones tour

According to Jim somehow still on air

Mankini craze hits Europe, shirt and jacket manufacturers declare bankruptcy

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