Lost: Daniel Dae Kim, Yunjin Kim

Mario Perez/ABC

If you saw last night's Lost (and if you didn't, you should take your eyeballs elsewhere!), chances are you're wondering one thing right about now: Is the island actually purgatory after all?

Sure, we know that in the very beginning, Lost's big bosses assured us the island was not some sort of tweenie place between heaven and hell and that the castaways were indeed alive and kicking, but how else do you explain last night's cliffhanger reveal, that there were "no survivors on flight 815." WTF?!

I took the purgatory Q to the one and only Damon Lindelof (who is still da bomb in my book, in case you were wondering), and he shot back the following:

The following two facts are true. I swear it.
A. They're not in purgatory.
B. They're not dead.
If we did such a thing after repeatedly stating otherwise, we'd be tarred and feathered!

Or, to quote from a certain popular motion picture, “No, Aunt Em. This is a real, truly live place. And I remember that some of it wasn't very nice. But most of it was beautiful.”

So, now we come to strangely more befuddling issues—like why was there a twin of Oceanic flight 815 and whose bodies did they find in the wreckage? And who is they? How can this not involve clones? Did they perform DNA analysis on the bodies? Is there a forensics hatch I don’t know about?!

Well, perhaps there's no need for such befuddlement, because I have a hunch that Naomi the parachutist just might be a big, fat liar of Benry proportions. Because when she said something in Portuguese (finally, my lessons are paying off!) to Sir Patchy, it was "Eu no estou soh." Which means "I am not alone." When Patchy translated that phrase to the Losties, it became "Thank you." Liars! Liars! All of 'em! Down with the Others! 

So, what else did we learn last night?

DDK Can High Kick Like Nobody's Business!  Let the record show that Mr. and Mrs. Kwon can and will kick your ass. Jin knows hapkido (or some other equally delightful martial art), while Sun’s glare alone can cause brainsploding and instant death. Beware the Kwons.

Jin's the Daddy!  I know the unfortunate trade-off for Jin being the baby’s daddy is Sun dying in two months (season five?), but I am 100 percent in denial. Sun’s gonna be fine, the baby’s gonna be fine and Jin’s gonna be one happy Daddio! By the way, doing a little calendar cross-checking reveals that Jin knocked Sun up sometime between “Numbers“ and “Deus Ex Machina“ in season one—prime baby-makin' time.

Sun's a Smarty:  I know it looks like Juliet is playing Sun, but there was something in Sun’s “thank you” that made me think Sun’s not buying Juliet’s BS. Is there any reason Sun couldn’t double-back to the medical hatch and do some prying of her own? Take Kate and a gun and have a field day tearin’ the place apart!

What Lies Ahead:  Ben's getting a flashback very soon, and it's filled with so many jaw-dropping reveals, you might want to forewarn your downstairs neighbors there'll be a few thuds on their ceiling. Also, Juliet just might be good after all. Why? She hates Ben! She told us last night—and something tells me that someday soon, she'll get to tell him, too.

—Additional reporting by Jennifer Godwin

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