Longtime mustache supporter Jeff Foxworthy will be putting his grandchildren through Ol' Miss thanks to the “you might be a redneck” premise alone, yet CMT (that’s Country Music Television for those living above the Mason Dixon line) is taking a much firmer stance. You are a redneck if you appear on Redneck Dreams, where the dreams of rednecks, yes, come true. Be it a new pontoon boat, a barbecue or boobs (their examples), if the magical CMT dream weavers “think you deserve it, it’s yours!” See Jeff the Pantomime, Bird-Killing Sherriff, along with his pit hair, his twitchy upper lip and his mad bird-calling skills. And he's here to humiliate himelf beg for a custom decoy trailer—to carry plastic ducks—surely the stuff of dreams. (Sorry ladies, looks like he’s wearing a ring).

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