Aaron Eckhart

Gareth Cattermole/Getty Images

Towelhead premiered at H'wood's ArcLight Cinemas last night—ya know, the indie flick where white knight Aaron Eckhart shoots himself in the foot playing a more appalling character than Two-Face, fer sure. More despicable than Heath's Joker, even, since this creep doesn't have a costume or any makeup to hide behind.

We're baffled why a chiseled chum like A.E. would risk his Dark Knight popularity by polarizing people with such a heinous role? Isn't he terrified of tarnishing his good-guy status? 'Cause we're sure worried for him. "Honestly, I'm just attracted to different types of roles, and every time I go out and say I'm gonna be a good guy, I go out and do bad guys," said Aaron. "We all do things that we're ashamed of and feel guilt. We basically still feel we're good people and our parents love us and we still crack jokes and want to do good in the world...Good guys are more fun to watch when they're bad."

We don't know if we'd say your terrible Towelhead neighbor is "fun" when he's crossing a very Michael Jackson-drawn line with minors, but I guess we'll see if your D.K. fanbase supports you through this one.

The main man responsible for Eckie's ickiness in the flick is Alan Ball, who never saw a dreary set of characters he didn't try to kick in the shins. Al's the macabre man behind American Beauty, Six Feet Under and the new vampire series True Blood—stories so dark we need nightvision goggles to see 'em.

Why not scribe something bright 'n' cheery, Mr. Ball? "We live in a really dark culture. I think we try to make it seem that it isn't, but I think it's a pretty dark culture," he said, as if our blond highlights were covering up our little earsies and making us deaf, or something. Jeez, Ball, it's not like these shades are natural, whatever. "Certainly in my own life, I try to be a person who is functional, who faces conflict in a calm and rational way, and I try to surround myself with people like that. As characters? Those people bore the pants off of me."

Then why is The Hills so popular, Al? Looks like you may be alone there.

—Additional English-screwin' reporting by Becky Bain

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