Blind Vice

Congrats are in order! Guess what? I hear our fave hubba-hubba, humpy homo in T-town, Toothy Tile, is seriously considering making things super-
domesticated with his equally homosational b-f. And no, I don't mean the gorgeous closeted (albeit permanently, it seems) actor is getting a new puppy or Cuisinart.

Hear ol' T2 is thinking about helping his man-friend adopt something, uh, more...complex. As in a human (aren't we all?). Meaning, a baby! Too sweet!

I could just cry (since Ellen D. left me on the verge yesterday, ya know) with happiness!

Couldn't all you hard-asses at home weep with me, too?

Yeah, right—wouldn't hurt for you malcontents to soften up a bit, but whatever.

You all going for a boy or a girl, Mr. Tooth?

And if he or she turns out to be gay, like you, and if he or she wants to become a mucho-talented performer, also like you, Daddy Toothy, I declare, I do wonder what advice you'd offer the kiddo? Hmmm. What could it be?

Stay away from the Biz, altogether, I wonder?

And it ain't:
George Clooney


Clay Aiken

Steve Granitz/

ER, John Stamos

Paul Drinkwater/NBC

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