From Nicole's preggers gab to Paris' postprison fam happenings, we're all about doing it, clan style, for the blastin' Fourth! Plus, who's Hilary gabbing about so, well, Awful Truth style?
Larry King, Paris Hilton

Kyle Christy/CNN

We goss gals here at the Awful Truth are all about taking stock. Just like Paris did over in Hawaii. Clearly, she's thinking about what to do in the coming weeks. Perhaps thinking of more brilliant mouthings to tell Larry King? Plus, a new perilously pooftah Blind Vice, I'm totally sure.
While we're taking our July 4 vacay time (we'll be back up and running July 10, promise!), here are our slightly subversive thoughts to leave you with during the upcoming days. And, yes, we're fired up, per usual. What the hell do you expect from a bunch o' badass babes?
Angelina Jolie, Brad Pitt

Steve Granitz/

So, with car crashin' and DUI snatchin' fast becoming fave celeb pastimes, the mama in me is a bit worried about the week's festivities. In an effort to keep your little bums safe 'n' satisfied, we've compiled the Sick-Sick Six Fourth of July activities for kids, adults and celebrities. We're so Brad 'n' Angie, I know. Here goes:
Ben Affleck

Will Binns,

6. Spend time with your clan:  As I was the first to have Nicole Richie amigos telling me she was preggers ages ago, knew I was onto somethin' familial for the Fourth! Don't worry, clubgoing gagas will be back by fall, I'm sure. So, for now, spend quality moments with your loved ones, like Ben, Jen, and little Violet did when they recently vacayed with Matt Damon, Luciana Barroso and their baby Isabella. Give the nannies, bod-guards, assistants, therapists and trainers the day off. Rad, I know.
Brandon Davis

Alexandra Wyman/

5. Get physical, not wasted:  The Fourth is a great time to get outside and soak up some rays. Go to the beach or to the park and play volleyball, with any kind of ball, or balls, you want, really. Then go to Brandon's sweaty pit of debauched everything, if you must.
Nicole Richie


4. Barbecue:  And not the N. Richie kind! Face it, nothing is more American than being a complete fatass. This Fourth, enjoy your burgers 'n' beer (nonalcoholic, or not) galore. You only have six more months to break this year's resolutions, so make it count, already.
George Bush


3. Be patriotic—unlike Dubya:  Festive and fierce means wearing red, white and blue and thinking about the significance of this holiday. What it's not: blind acceptance and support of ridiculous sitches the prez has gotten us into, like Iraq. Hello, our country stands for freedom of speech and expression, right?
Paris Hilton

2. Learn from Paris Hilton's mistakes:  If you get tipsy, make sure you cab it home. There's no excuse to drive after a couple of cocktails, especially when you have the moolah to have a limo pick up your feelin'-no-pain behind.
Rosie O'Donnell

AP photo/Louis Lanzano

1. Join Rosie O'Donnell's fan club:  Even if it's to tell her to shove it up hers. Rosie's all about speaking out, right? Let's follow her lead. Pissed about something (like Elisabeth Hasselbeck's outfit choices)? Shout about it! Isn't that what we bossy Americans are known best for? So, do it.
Hilary Duff

Nancy Kaszerman/

Hilary Duff, dishing dirt during dinner. The sassy sweetie was having a bite with girlfriends at Wolfgang Puck's Cut at the Beverly Wilshire when she was overheard chatting about a big-name pooftah celeb with some friends. See, even supposed good girls like to goss! It's okay, Hil, our lips are sealed about his identity...for now. Opening his mouth elsewhere was...
Udo Kier

Jeffrey Mayer/

Udo Kier, hangin' with the guys at Hunters Video Bar in Palm Springs. U.K. opted to chug mineral water as he chatted with pals and watched videos, but he still took a time-out to sing along with an old Whitney Houston track that appeared on the monitor. Another guy just lookin' for some wholesome fun was...
Jack Osbourne

Ash Knotek/

Jack Osbourne, relaxin' VIP style at Venus Pool Club at Caesars, Sin City. Jack spent the day soakin' up the sun and sippin' on Red Bull to keep his svelter self's energy up. Later that night, Jack and his crew headed over to Dick's Last Resort at Excalibur, Vegas' wackiest watering hole and restaurant, where they noshed on nachos to the bangin' beats of Disco Inferno. Also gettin' their groove on elsewhere were...
Kim Stewart

Ash Knotek/

Kimberly Stewart and Amy Smart, getting the boot while shaking their butts. The babes were kicked off the dance floor during Men Without Sex's performance at the grand opening of Harry Morton's restaurant, Pink Taco, by the fire marshal. The blond babes were even escorted to the door by said bigwig...harsh! Other P. Taco partiers like...
Jessica Alba, Cash Warren

Kevin Mazur/

Jessica Alba and Cash Warren opted to move to less crowded locales. Jess 'n' Cash were spotted strolling into Kate Mantilini around 12 ayem, post-Pink. Guess they got over that little spat Party Girl witnessed earlier that night? The couple made a beeline for the back room of the eatery, where their B-ballin' buddy Baron Davis had a huge table. Wonder what the occasion was?
Shia LaBeouf

Jeffrey Mayer/

If you loved those famous robots in disguise on the boob tube from the '80s, you're in luck. Transformers is back, and its big-screen action stars—Shia LaBeouf, Josh Duhamel, Tyrese and a host of other hotties—were all on hand for the Westwood premiere last week.
Megan Fox

Gregg DeGuire/

Newcomer Megan Fox, the brunette bombshell babe with tons of tats, has been compared to Angelina Jolie lately. How's it feel to be hailed as the next Angie?

“Unbelievably flattering,” Meg cooed. “Unbelievably flattering!”

Brian Austin Green

Maury Phillips/

So, Megan's the new Angelina, does that make her fiancé, Brian Austin Green, the next Brad Pitt?

Perhaps...the former 90210-er did look pretty damn good on the carpet. He was even sporting shades, as Papa Pitt is fond of doing to avoid the flashbulbs. B.A.G. also hung back to make sure Meg had the spotlight on her big night.

Josh Duhamel

Jean-Paul Aussenard/

Josh showed up minus his g-f, Fergie...gosh, wonder why? If I were her, I'd hit every carpet in town to show off that stud, wouldn't you? J.D. is still pretty humble, despite his dazzling looks. Take his answer to our Q of who had to fight off more female extras on set, him or Tyrese?
“I dunno,” Josh laughed, all aw-shucks and self-effacing. Uh, we all know it was totally you.
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