From Paris Hilton’s behind-bars homage to K-Fed’s fashion police crimes, doll-cakes, we’re in a, like, totally arresting mood here at the Awful Truth! Which, ‘course, means get ready for the week’s end Blind Vice baddies! Ready to get naughty with it?
Paris Hilton


Did you all have too much teeth-rotting fun gorgin' on candy and gettin' dressed up all skanky-scary for H-ween? Paris Hilton did, that's fer sure! The gonzo gal stepped out in, like, a ton o' diff costumes, including a cop (oh, the delicious irony), a bunny and Rainbow Brite. And one of Ms. H.'s go-to getup places is Trashy Lingerie, right by the Beverly Center here in Hell-Ay.
Well, P.H. hit said sassy spot on Saturday and called some of her closest friends to join in her costume cavorting. She whipped out her phone and told whoever was on the other end where she was, that she was shoppin' for costumes and how long she'd be there.
Nicole Richie

Maury Phillips/

So, who showed up to meet her? Nicole Richie, perhaps? Stavros, you say? Guess again.
"Nobody else came to meet her," said Desk Risqué. "But the paparazzi showed up very shortly after she hung up."
It doesn't surprise me in the least that P. would call and request the very same photogs' presence that everyone else in Hollywood loves to complain about and pretend to avoid—you?
Said flashbulb types were takin' pics of her inside the store, but the staff was havin' none of the forced frenzy. So, Paris took it to the sidewalks and went outside to pose for them.
I mean, it's the least she could do, since she summoned them there, right? Or at least, one assumes....
Kevin Federline

Chris Weeks/

K-Fed, dragging his lard-ass around Halloween night. Hell-ay, at the Xeni pah-tay, where onlookers said Mr. Spears was the butt of many a joke (the poor Papa S.). Kevin wore a big old-lookin' trench coat—let's pray he had on underwear. Perhaps K.'s "woman" shelled out the fee for the members-only club, which costs a whoppin $7,500, since we all know he's no A-list star.  Mama Spears was supposedly on site. Wonder what the newly svelte lady was sporting as her husband made a Halloweenie of himself.  Before the clubbing, the solo-debut singa performed his new "single" at the WeHo Halloween Carnival to an unenthusiastic crowd.  We shall see if all this publicitay is going to get K.F. somewhere in Tinseltown. Less low-vibed across the pond was...
Scarlett Johansson

Scarlett Johansson, who went as her glamorous stacked self to the posh members Soho House Halloween do in London.  Dolled up in a long silver kimono-type dress, the gal with the porcelain skin shook her sexified booty to dance mixes as she partied with her non-A-list friends. Love it! Now, the question of the night for fellow (and mucho curious) partyers was where the heck was Mr. Josh Hartnett?  See, the curvy babe danced solo to the beats of the Halloween night. Perhaps Josh will be added as a fashionable accessory next time? Other fashionistas in the Big Rotten Apple was Heatherette's...
Richie Rich

Nancy Kaszerman/

Richie Rich, hostin' a Halloween extravaganza at Lotus.  The venue was decked out in a pirate theme, where burlesque dancers so devilishly teased the clubgoers.  R2 embraced the spirit of New Yawk dress as the lady of freedom and peace—the Statue of Liberty—while he boogied with Chris Heinz (John Kerry's son), gothed-out Angie Everhart, models and plenty of muscled sports stars. Less pumped was...
Kiefer Sutherland

Nancy Kaszerman/ZUMA Press

Kiefer Sutherland, steppin' out of his silver Range Rover in trendy aviator sunglasses, white tee and comfy corduroy pants.  Possibly while on a break from shooting his high voltage show, the scruffy star parked across from Mayfair Market in the City of Fallen Barkeeps. Perhaps to do some grocery shoppin' for his bachelor pad?  Four-wheel witnesses say the 24 dude was "mellow."  Nice to know that not everyone in Tinseltown is a type-A personality. Or maybe the Kiefster was just saving up for an all-night tequila-downing date. Who the hell knows round here.  
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