Lost: Terry O'Quinn

ABC/Mario Perez

Note: Do not read until you've seen last night's episode of Lost

How awesome was last night's Lost? So awesome that I must immediately break down for you the five holy-crap-that-did-not-just-happen moments:

1. Locke made boat go boom. (!)
2. Sayid told Alex about her mother. (!!)
3. Danielle saw Alex for the first time in 16 years. (!!!)
4. The Others handcuffed Sayid to a swing set. (Hee. That one's just funny.)
5. Locke's father, Anthony Cooper, pushed him through a freaking eighth-story window! (!!!!)

Let me just tell you that the final reveal of why Locke was in that wheelchair (eight stories!) was so unexpected and totally bonkers, I actually leaped off my couch and nearly met the same fate. (Well played, Lost producers. Well played.)

The Rules:  Listen to me, kids, and listen good, because this is the new unbreakable rule: When either Ben or Anthony Cooper start to speak, you immediately plug your ears with your fingers and sing "La-la-la-la!" really, really loud. They're both 100-percent lying bastards, and heck, I wouldn't put it past them to be working together right this minute! 

The Man from Tallahassee:  Ben gave the order to bring out "the man from Tallahassee." And later it was revealed that, OMG, that man is Locke's father, and he's on the freaking island! So, naturally, this has opened a whole big can of worms about whether Locke's father could be the original Sawyer (the one whose scheming resulted in the death of the mother of our Sawyer, James). And it certainly is plausible, 'cause we also learned last night that Anthony perpetrates the same kind of con as Sawyer. And Sawyer, as we learned a looong time ago, perpetrates the same kind of con that resulted in his mother's murder.

That said, what do you guys think about James' plan to kill the original Sawyer? Should he? Can he commit a revenge murder and still be redeemed? Would he be doing a service to the community? I want your thoughts and theories below!

Jack! Come Back!  Setting aside the fact that Ben's a creep and would totally have sunk the sub somewhere between the Island and Fiji, it seems that Jack was going to escape the Island and leave the Lostaways to fend for themselves. Does this make him a collaborator? Human? Wise? Brave? Thoughts?

And the Emmy Goes To:  Locke may not be a master of Stratergery, but holy crap, can Terry O'Quinn act or what? Honestly, I would pay huge sums of money to see the show where Michael Emerson and Terry O'Quinn sit together in a black-box theater, saying nothing with words and everything with their faces. Stellar.

Easter Eggs, Various and Sundry:  "Don't tell me what I can't do!" comes from Locke's first days as a paraplegic. Mr. Widmore and Anthony Cooper both drink McCutcheon whiskey, the Official Whiskey of Evil™. "Mr. Seward" sounds a lot like "Mr. Sawyer." (Also, wait a minute...could Locke be the guy who fell past Hurley's financial planner's office window in "Numbers"? Poof. I think I just blew my mind.)

Danielle Versus Ben Revenge Fantasy of the Week:  Danielle walks up to Ben. "My name is Danielle Rousseau. You stole my daughter. Prepare to die." Ben starts with the "Who? Me?" Danielle's reaction reads: "And they say I'm crazy." And then without a word, she just shoots him in the face. Ben dies; Danielle collects her daughter, and they go home holding hands, together with their fabulous hair. The end.

Next Week on Lost:  Sun spanks Sawyer. Whoo!

—Additional reporting by Jennifer Godwin

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