Kate Moss, Pete Doherty

Digitalprofile/ZUMAPress.com

Is Pete Doherty a witch?

The Babyshambles rocker and onetime Kate Moss lover has reportedly been evicted from his nine-bedroom mansion in the British countryside for destroying it in a very unrock-star style: with human blood and cat feces.

Doherty is in jail, supposedly on a probation violation, but we wonder if something more sinister is at work. Like, that he stole a warlock’s staff or smote a sacred gargoyle. Or that he led a crusade to sell the Sorcerer’s Stone to Voldemort for crack money.

We don’t know. It’s England. They’re weird over there.

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