Which matronly actress so grossed out test audiences that her amour scenes with young, semistudly Adam Brody got yanked faster than Britney rehires her help? Oh, and Jamie Foxx horn-dogs it up yet again, so yawn pie with condom sauce, I know.
Oh, before we get to that disgustingly horny (but Oscar winning!) Jamie Foxx, I feel it my goss-column due to fill all you e-sniffers in on a little lusty nooky gone awry. And that’s always the best kind, right?
Adam Brody

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Seen In the Land of Women yet? Opened last weekend, ‘course. Adam Brody, the young O.C. stud-boy (even though he’s just a tad too svelte, let’s get real) who’s currently surviving his own real-life love travails—thanks to busting up with Rachel Bilson—actually had to submit to some rather challenging amour time onscreen as well.

As if facing my queries at the film’s premiere about surviving rough romance wasn’t enough.

Olympia Dukakis

Nancy Kaszerman/ZUMAPress.com

Now, I get word from absolutely connected Land movers ‘n’ minders that Mr. Bee had himself some rather delicate love scenes with a certain older gal on the flick. Totally Mrs. Robinson stuff. Per the flick’s quirky kinda/sorta/not really love story, Adam, I kid you not, had to get it on with Olympia Dukakis, can you believe it? 

I take it back! Was kidding, so sorry.

Meg Ryan

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In reality, my Land advisers tell me Adam-hon had himself some prime-time nooky emoting—onscreen, mind you—with Meg Ryan. But test audiences were so beyond put out, and grossed out, by these lip-lock setup sitches, the Graduate-esque visuals had to be deleted in the end. What a shame.
Russell Crowe

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Actually, I think age had nothing to do with it. Stellar as Ryan’s performance is said to be in Land, I don’t think any breathing, arousing creature could watch that woman get it on with anybody—at this point in rearranged puss time. Doubt even Russell Crowe could help that woman (re)bring her sexy back.

Jamie Foxx

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Jamie Foxx partied hearty (per usual) Saturday night after completing the Hell-Ay leg of his Unpredictable tour. Belvedere Vodka even threw J.F. a bash at Social Hollywood to celebrate, how nice of them. So, of course, I had to ask the singin’ skirt-chaser about the most unpredictable thing he's ever done.

“I was driving with my friend,” he started. “She had a Toyota, and we were going to Mexico. And I’d just gotten hired on In Living Color, so I had a couple of checks. And we pulled over and bought a Range Rover and jumped in that Range Rover without test-driving it and drove it all the way to Mexico and partied the whole weekend. That, right there, is unpredictable,” he said, actually singing the last word as he does in his song.

Cristina Gibson

Courtesy of Cristina Gibson

Jamie’s antics, like trying to get the private digits of this column’s very beautiful Cristina Gibson (who wasn’t interested, mind you) continued inside the packed party, where Foxx’s bud Ludacris was also hangin’. Jamie had a whole Belvedere bottle full of Sex on the Beach shots, which he was pouring directly into comely chicas' mouths, along with his own. Reminded me of a preparty for a Girls Gone Wild shoot or somethin’, let me tell you.   

Would’ve far preferred a Guys Gone Wild homage, but I def hear that ain’t Foxx’s thang, damn shame. 

And even though Jamie is A-okay with pouring drinks down girls’ throats with abandon, he’s quite pissy particular about what goes in his own pie hole. At one prickly point, when he was on the mike, Jamie, with the biggest Tori Spelling 'tude, called for food to be brought over to the VIP section. Worker bees quickly scurried over carrying trays of crabcakes and mozzarella sticks for Mister Ef.

“I can’t eat anything fried,” he said dismissively. Hmmm, guess we know how he keeps that bod in shape, huh?
Marc Anthony, Jennifer Lopez

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While some peeps, like Jennifer Lopez, might want to keep her hubby on a tighter leash in New Yawk’s Union Square—where, according to Manhattan busybodies, the dude who looks like a friggin’ waiter was seen accompanying a lovely young gal—Pink has nothing to worry about.
Carey Hart, Pink

Lisa O'Connor/ZUMApress.com

Her hubby, Carey Hart, hit the Victoria’s Secret What Is Sexy? party in Vegas last week and hung with slammin’ supermodels.  
Kevin Federline

Jeff Frank/ZUMApress.com

Howevah, peeps say he couldn’t stop braggin’ about his wife all night, even to the comely catwalkers. Hart even claims his wife in a towel is all it takes to get his engines purring. Kevin Federline was also there, for some strange reason, surrounded by hoochies, how very Jamie Foxx wannaslut.
Paul "Bono" Hewson

Nancy Kaszerman/ZUMApress.com

Bono, flyin’ coach to Beantown. The U2 singer and humanitarian was all alone on his Delta flight from LAX and was spotted in the Boston terminal, waiting for bags. B. was in his usual black getup, sportin’ pink sunglasses and not even trying to be incognito, according to fellow flyers. “He was sitting on the floor alone in the baggage claim, talking on his cell plugged into the wall,” say surprised witnesses. He even took a photo with some fans and was “totally nice and perfectly friendly.” Adore that Irish lad. Patronizing pedestrian places elsewhere was...
Ryan Gosling

Lisa O'Connor/ZUMApress.com

Ryan Gosling, jonesing for java. The Coffee Bean on San Vicente here in the City of Fallen Relationships. Ry was with another guy and dressed in a red plaid jacket...an homage to his chilly Canadian roots, perhaps? His 'do was short and in a buzz cut, for the hair-splitting record. Another buzzed dude included...
Michael Bolton, Nicollette Sheridan

Steve Granitz/WireImage.com

Michael Bolton, lunchin’ with his lady. Mikey and Nicollette Sheridan were spotted at the Peninsula hotel, dining alfresco at Belvedere restaurant. Nic was wearing a white sweater-jacket and jeans, with knee-high boots that laced up à la Xena Warrior Princess. As outlandish and attention-seeking as her getup seemed, Nic was feeling shy and kept her hair in her face to try to hide. Another tacky type in the same town was... 
Liz Torres

Glenn Weiner/ZUMApress.com

Liz Torres, eating a bologna sandwich while watching the Gay Men’s Chorus Saturday night. Despite her food faux pas, the Gilmore Girls star “has lost weight” and “looks great,” according to fellow theater types. Also turning heads was...
Mena Suvari

Jeff Vespa/WireImage.com

Mena Suvari, gettin’ her whip washed. Mena took her Lexus with tinted windows to a car wash in Venice, along with some dude “who was a total Hollywood tool.” Mena, on the less bitchy hand, looked “elfin” and cute in Rock & Republic jeans, patent-leather heels and hoop earrings. “Her hair looked fab!” my sudsy source swears. I beg to differ...Those big bangs of hers are hideous!
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