David Archuleta, Carly Smithson

Ray Mickshaw / FOX

OK, H.R. question: If Ryan Seacrest manages to give me a panic attack while I'm watching American Idol, can I file for workers' comp to receive a lifetime supply of therapy and/or paper sacks to hyperventalite into?

Jeeeeeeeeeezus.

That’s all I can say after tonight's shocking and gut-wrenching—and thoroughly enter-freaking-tainingIdol results show, during which Ryan led us all to believe either David Cook or Jason Castro would be in the bottom three.

It was...good TV!

For those who missed it: After dividing the contestants into two groups—Kristy Lee Cook, David Cook and Brooke White on one side and Syesha Mercado, Carly Smithson and Jason Castro on the other—Ryan asked Mr. Cook and Syesha to swap places, revealing that Kristy, Brooke and Syesha were actually tonight's bottom three, and ultimately sending Kristy Lee Cook packing.

Tonight's show also proved that despite the recent rumors regarding David Awwwwrchuleta’s father (that he's a, er, passionate stage dad who once may have bullied his son's competition on Star Search), David is clearly a class act—he refused to choose which side of the stage he believed to be the bottom three and plopped down in the middle of the stage. (That kind of game is like naked Twister atop splintered wood: No one wins.)

For the record: David A. and David C. still seem very much the front-runners, but the Psychic Friends say that Jason Castro could come outta nowhere and win this thing. (Right, Santa Claus?)

Meanwhile, tonight's recognizable audience members included Kristy Swanson and Lloyd Eisler, as well as Ken Davitian, the infamous producer in Borat (clothed tonight, thanks be to dress code).

So what do you think of Kristy’s ousting? And who are you rooting for now? Vote below!
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