Earlier this month, vegan baldy Moby caused a big stink over the farts of cattle, who he claims are leaving a carbon ass-print on the global-warming crisis bigger than all the cars, trucks and SUVs in the world combined. The threat of the planet becoming one big Dutch oven is clearly a nightmare for Moby, yet he seems to have much more compassion for the noxious air of humans than our gaseous bovine buddies. (Before you jump, get a huff of Mob's Earth-loving, fart-joke setup vid "Whispering Wind.")

The DJ recently found himself on a flight sitting beside a woman he says “was 48 years old, very affluent and successful and poised.” After an Ambien and a quick snooze, the lady awoke, tried on his glasses, “farted very loudly and went back to sleep.” On his website, sympathetic Moby now cautions his fans against the embarrassment of gateway drugs that lead to flatulence. Boo-hoo. If that woman had been a cow, he’d have strangled her.

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