Rachel Lindsay Reveals the Reason She Was Once "So Against" Dating Outside Of Her Race

Rachel Lindsay, Bryan Abasolo, P.K. Subban and Lindsey Vonn sat down to discuss what it's like being in an interracial relationship and how they navigate certain struggles

von Cydney Contreras Jul 09, 2020 02:57Tags
Rachel Lindsay, Bryan Abasolo, Lindsey Vonn. PK SubbanJim Spellman/FilmMagic / Dominik Bindl/Getty Images

Rachel LindsayBryan AbasoloP.K. Subban and Lindsey Vonn discussed what it's like to be in an interracial relationship in the modern era.

Though the famous couples have discussed their day to day lives on previous occasions, they sat down with Emmanuel Acho for the next installment of his YouTube series Uncomfortable Conversations, during which he asked them questions from his followers. 

As usual, the former pro athlete didn't hold back and began their talk by admitting he "felt some type of way" when he watched Rachel's season of The Bachelorette and saw that she chose Bryan. He explained, "I'm watching The Bachelorette and I see finally they chose a Black woman, they chose a Black queen and I'm thinking to myself, 'Surely, she's going to pick a Black king.' I know nothing about Bryan, like nothing about Bryan. I never met the guy but all I see is Rachel picked a guy who is seemingly white." 

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But, as Rachel explained it, people shouldn't "judge" her for who she dates regardless of their skin color. "I feel like they expect me to pick someone who looks just like me but that's not fair. They should just want me to fall in love with whoever it is that I vibe with," she said of her mindset going into The Bachelorette

Later in the episode, Rachel stated that she previously struggled with dating outside of her race, because of preconceived notions surrounding her identity as a Black woman.

The former lawyer explained, "I've always been told that I wasn't Black enough and I'm not even [biracial]... I'm a Black woman and I've always been told that I wasn't Black enough because of the way that I grew up, the experiences that I had. So I, you know, to be 100 percent honest it was something that I fought before I came on to The Bachelor."

She continued, "Up until I was 30 I really didn't date seriously outside of my race because I felt like society—not my parents, not my friends—society was telling me I had to pick a Black man."

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She and Lindsey also shared a moment after the professional snowboarder confessed to feeling "guilty" for dating a Black man because she felt that she was "taking a strong Black man away" from a Black woman. Lindsey said, "I mean I shouldn't be penalized for that, I don't think, but there is the reality that that is true."

Rachel responded, "What you said like hit me. When you said you feel guilty; you shouldn't feel guilty for loving who you love. That's their problem, there's nothing that you can do to change that and and to be honest I used to be that Black woman. I feel bad saying that out loud now, being in my own interracial relationship, but I was 100 percent ignorant. I would look and I would see a white woman with a Black man and I would automatically assume certain things and that's because I was so closed-minded."

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To end the 13-minute conversation, the two couples talked about how they help their partner to better understand their struggles as a Black person, which P.K. and Rachel agreed was a willingness to "ask questions" and listen. Rachel said, "One of the reasons I was so against dating outside of my race is because I felt like nobody could understand me like a Black man can. And I think that thinking is problematic because I understand me and I get it. And what I need from a partner is someone who is willing to understand things, is willing to ask questions."

To hear the conversation in full, check out the video above.