Salma Hayek

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Jewel tones? Fall shades? The Official Palette of Sexy Times 2012?

We don't know how to categorize the color scheme Salma Hayek wore for a photocall in London this week, other than An Amazingly Genius Combo of Oxblood and Petrol Blue.

So, maybe we'll stick to one word: Hot. From the looks of things, director Oliver Stone totally agrees as the two of them promote their new film, Savages.

The look is hot. The person wearing the look is hot. If we had knockers that celestial and a waist the size of a pipe cleaner, we'd appear hot in this outfit, too.

We do not have waists the size of pipe cleaners, however, nor do we have anything close to a set of miracle ta-tas. But we do have rather acceptable feet. Maybe we should just settle for the shoes the actress is wearing—a pair of ankle-strap Giuseppe Zanottis—and call it a day.

Or, then again, maybe not. The shoes are nearly $700.

We're totally screwed, aren't we?

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