Teri Hatcher gets it all wrong again, and the anarchy over Grey’s Anatomy’s blubbering castmates is surely reaching its expiration date? Yeah, right. Also, are Brangelina & Co. still busy gettin’ settled into their intercontinental love nest down in New Orleans?
Isaiah Washington

Lisa O'Connor/ZUMAPress.com

Too funny, really, all this Isaiah Washington mess. Suddenly, everybody’s screaming (off the record) over at ABC that Washington’s thisclose to being fired. It doesn’t look good, that much is clear.

Quite frankly, this rehab stint Isaiah has just embarked on is the smartest thing he ever could have done—regardless how genuine it is. Let’s just say some veddy inside folk on the Grey’s Anatomy set are impressed, as their previous opinion, prior to Washington’s offensive public spewing was, “he’s just not that bright.” This, according to Grey’s workerbees who toil alongside I.W. over at the Silverlake ABC studio. “He’s a hothead, never know what’s coming out of his mouth.”Perhaps now that that tongue’s gonna get some mending—in whatever fashion—it’s Washington’s last and only hope? Certainly looks that way.

And while everybody in high-powered H-town’s hissing and scheming about what to do about I.W.’s offensive remarks to me backstage at the Globes, thought I’d fill you in on what folks from less highfalutin ranks think.

E! Personalities, David Adelson

Just did my old E! bud David Adelson’s radio show on 97.1 Free FM. Now, Dave’s a piss-ass, tough cookie, he takes no prisoners. But you should get a hold of some of his ball-and-chain-type listeners, for heaven’s sake! Since I’m the fagola Washington was originally ranting to, D.A. had me on to chat, but when we reached the call-in portion of the show, well, sistah, it was scary.

T.R. Knight

Lisa O'Connor/ZUMApress.com

The majority of folks out there in listener land felt I was “overreacting” to the offensive F-word I.W. used when discussing what he did—or did not—say about his costar T.R. Knight. Furthermore, most of Dave’s audience felt Washington most definitely should not be fired for the offense.

What planet are these freaks from, Up-Uranus, where anything hateful said about anybody goes?

John Mayer

James Devaney/WireImage.com

I still say Washington should not be canned. He should simply be made to play a gay guy on his show, as John Mayer originally thought. Perhaps a dude who’s asked to go on Dave Adelson’s radio gig and has to listen to what some idiots think of his human rights (or lack thereof)? Not a bad notion at all.

As I’ve said, stay tuned on this one.

Little Miss Sunshine

20th Century Fox

So, Oscar noms are in, and C. Gibson’s gotta say that she’s sorta surprised Little Miss Sunshine is up for Best Picture. It was a way cute movie, she admits, but she didn’t love it. Now, I have to say I don’t really understand Cristina’s bafflement, as I simply adored the antiestablishment flick.
And besides, Ms. G., your puzzlement simply pales in comparison to my utter astonishment that the Academy saw fit to reward Leonardo DiCaprio’s hair-color advertisement/performance in the lethal Blood Diamond. Beyond stunned.
Blood Diamond: Leonardo DiCaprio, Djimon Hounsou

Warner Bros. Entertainment

Even though Djimon Hounsou’s performance certainly deserved recognition (Mr. H. got a Best Supporting job, natch), the movie, otherwise, was as boring as waiting for Toothy Tile to come out of the closet, already!

What was the Academy thinking? It still owes Leo for not being noticed in Titanic (while everybody else and their valet was) all those years ago? Sheesh.

Just as with Washington-gate, stay fixed to this highly opinionated (not sorry!) missive for much more regarding all things Oscar in the weeks to come.

Jared Leto

Jamie McCarthy/WireImage.com

Jared Leto, spotted preoccupied at Gold’s Gym in Hollywood, pre-Sundance. Seems Leto’s still tryin' to get that smallish bod back in shape. The actor cum quasi-rocker, sportin' a grubbylicious T-shirt, sweats ‘n’ baseball cap combo—sans eyeliner—wasn’t so much working up a sweat as he was his cell phone bill. Fellow gym-goers witnessed Leto hiding behind punching bags sending texts on his BlackBerry. Oh, boyfriend, you think you’re even gonna get some de-lish deltoids with that kinda pansy-ass workout? Please. Speaking of sweatin’ hard and hardly workin’, living, breathing plastic surgery showcase...

Janice Dickinson

Jeff Vespa/WireImage.com

Janice Dickinson got her freak on at Corio, a burlesque bar in SoHo. Dickinson was hootin’ ‘n’ hollerin’, causing a naughty scene, which is the only kind that gets her privates excited.  After begging the burlesque dancers to give her and her hanger-on posse private shows all night, Janice & Co. finally left around 4 ayem. Heard Ms. D. left the girls a tittelicious tip! Classy! Voluptuous mover ‘n’ shaker…

Salma Hayek

Rena Durham/ZUMApress.com

Salma Hayek showed her curvy-lovin’ moves in an entirely diff fashion—this time for the fans. Despite recent dreadful temps here in Hell-Ay, the pretty and petite Ugly Betty star, dressed down in an oversize red poncho, jeans and black beanie, took a few moments to strike a pose with the crew outside of her Marie Claire photo shoot. Isn’t that sweet? I dare say she learned such primo manners from old b-f Ed Norton not good g-f Penélope Cruz, but whatev. Less polite, by far, over in Sin City was ex-TV tragedy...

Dustin Diamond

Maury Phillips/WireImage.com

Dustin Diamond, aka Screech from Saved by the Bell. D2 gallivanted around the Adult Video News Awards with myriad purchased-bosom types—many who had such innocent monikers as Michelle Sweet and Smoking Mary Jane. Maybe since Dustin-doll’s homemade sex tapes didn’t sell, Screech has been sniffin’ around the pros for new ideas? Oh gawd, don’t some folks know we simply do not want to see anything remotely close to their nether regions? Oh, merde, as long as we’ve descended to Desk Testicles, let’s check in on...

Sacha Baron Cohen

Ash Knotek/ZUMAPress.com

Sacha Baron Cohen, the infamous nude wrestler himself, and Isla Fisher, doing din-din with Mark Ruffalo and his wife-unit, Sunrise Coigney. The fiercely funny foursome was spotted chattin’ and chompin’ at Chateau Marmont, too damn chic! Mark, not shy with the libations, was all over his legalized honey, for the romantic record, while Sacha sipped on whiskey, too, but he wasn’t in comic character, thank the not-horny heavens above.

Brad Pitt, Angelina Jolie

AP Photo

I've gotten multiple mouthings from my southern-fried sources about Brad and Angie's recently purchased New Orleans pad. N'Awlins know-it-alls claim this megamansion is what the Jolie-Pitts are callin' home sweet home, as of late.

Now, if this is indeed their Louisiana love nest—which Desk Gumbo insists to me it is—Brangelina's now got six bedrooms, four bathrooms, two-car garage and more than 7,000 square feet in which to make nooky (which, by the by, B.P. has not so quietly informed his buds is "the best" in his life, how tacky, how hot!).

Now, I simply think these reported new digs ain't too shabby, you?

This par-tick property is in the French Quarter and right by boozy Bourbon Street. It'd be perf for peepin' parades and catchin' beads during Mardi Gras. And it's got a big backyard for the kiddies to play in.

Only bad part is there's no pool, which would be nice in muggy Nola.

Guess B. 'n' A. will have to come up with some creative ways to cool off after marathon mattress sessions, huh?

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