Idol Lesson #1: If Your Princess Leia Bun Should Fall, Have Grandpa There to Catch It

Here's what happened on this week's American Idol

Holy hell.

American Idol has made its seventh season debut with a fierce and poignant message: There are quite a few fantastic freaks in these here United States.

Who knew?! Oh, right. Randy, Paula, Simon and Ryan.

Tonight, not only did we meet a girl who packed on enough face glitter to register from outer space, we met a chest-waxing Steve Carell wannabe in a Princess Leia getup, a stalker who’d like to put Paula Abdul in a bathtub and "caulk her" (ewww!) and, my favorite, a strangely charming Egyptian guy who appears to be the second coming of Borat—complete with proclamations that he is a "sexy face" and wants to "love a girl from the hair to the nipple."

Don't we all, my friend...don't we all.

Poll

Idol's Best and Worst

So far the best is...

Joey (lost 204 lbs.)

Joey (lost 204 lbs.)

15.3%

Kristy Lee Cook (hot cage fighter)

Kristy Lee Cook (hot cage fighter)

46.4%

Chris Watson (Milli man)

Chris Watson (Milli man)

12.2%

Brooke White (has never seen an R movie)

Brooke White (has never seen an R movie)

26.1%

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So far the worst is...

Yuka (Borat)

Yuka (Borat)

6.8%

Milo (Tobias)

Milo (Tobias)

7.9%

Paul (Stalker)

Paul (Stalker)

31.3%

James ("Let my people go")

James ("Let my people go")

54%

Vote Now

What did you think of Idol's season premiere? Overhyped or übergood? Comment below!

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