Charlie Sheen earns the salary of more than a dozen men, let alone two and a half.
The sitcom star is the top-earning comedic actor on television right now, with a per-episode payday of $825,000, according to a list of the highest salaries in prime-time compiled by TV Guide.
Joining him in the upper echelons of compensation are CSI's William Petersen, who will be walking away from a $600,000-per-ep salary when he leaves the show in the coming season, and Law & Order: SVU's Mariska Hargitay, who may or may not keep copies of her $400,000 checks next to her Emmy.
Also quenching America's thirst for crime-solving, Kyra Sedgwick's $275,000-per-ep salary makes her the highest-paid actress in a cable drama.
But if you're wondering where all the real money goes, read on.