Tara Reid, Chris Klein, Shannon Elizabeth

Universal Pictures

In 1999, American Pie was hailed as a hilariously horny highlight of the millennial teen-movie renaissance, with a cast packed with the Next Big Things. Turns out, the film was actually loaded with career-jinxing juju that neither high-powered agents nor well-connected gypsies have been able to squelch.

As Mena Suvari grabs modest headlines for getting engaged, we decided to check in with—and rank—the Pie franchise's most doomed survivors:

1. Tara Reid: Pie's breakout blonde is now better known for boob mishaps and breaking up with Carson Daly. You know your career is haunted when even the paparazzi feel sorry for you.

2. Shannon Elizabeth: How many topless screen captures does it take to torpedo your acting career? Pie's foreign-exchange sexpot has since become the object of real-life cruelty on such shows as Punk'd and Dancing With the Stars.

3. Thomas Ian Nicholas: His debut album came out this year. Maybe he could open for the Bacon Brothers?

4. Chris Klein: You know that awful feeling when your ex winds up happily married to someone who's better looking and more successful than you? Imagine that ex is Katie Holmes, and your next big movie is Street Fighter 2.

5. Alyson Hannigan: How to explain the former Buffy starlet's hasty descent from supreme geek goddess to so-so sitcom clock-puncher? Six words: "This one time, at band camp..."

6. Jason Biggs: The congenial pastry-banger now seems destined to ef himself, grabbing a lead role in Woody Allen's worst movie ever and following it with a pile of crappy supporting ones.

7. Eugene Levy: Now pigeonholed as an über-dork dad, he's the only castmember to stick around all the way through Pie's feeble straight-to-video sequels. Not even Canadians are immune to this thing!

8. Mena Suvari: You could just as easily blame the American Beauty curse that likewise beleaguers Wes Bentley and Thora Birch. Either way, Mena's been subsisting on a meager diet of fashion don'ts and throwaway FHM rankings.

9. Eddie Kaye Thomas: The Pie Pack's most genuinely skilled actor should be giving Jake Gyllenhaal a run for his big-screen money, not playing a sitcom sidekick to Brad Garrett.

10. [YOUR CHOICE HERE]: Where you at, Natasha Lyonne? Did Seann William Scott jump his own shark? And has anybody seen the Shermanator? Let us know which American Pie alum has slid the farthest down the Hollywood drainpipe.

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