Who's Afraid of Deep Sea Sass?

Salma Hayek hides out after she drops her baby bomb, Leo runs into trouble overseas, and Elizabeth Taylor (yes, Elizabeth Taylor) swims with sharks, the real kind, not the human version! Plus, does one of Hollywood’s heavy hitters have a secret nooky child?

Just wanna take a sec to extend my warmest (really) congrats to Salma Hayek! Not only did she announce she's expecting, but she's also gettin' hitched. The baby's daddy and lucky dude is François-Henri Pinault, a French luxury goods chairman. I didn't even know she had a (serious) boyfriend...Way to keep us guessing, g-friend!

Also semisurprising: Salma was a no-show at the National Association of Latina Producers Saturday night, where she was expected. Now that the bun-in-the-oven and nuptial news has broken, I hear she's hiding out in France (don't tell anybody, it's supposed to be this huge-ass secret, 'kay?), trying to avoid the media and paps. Good luck with that...You're gonna need it.

'Cause fleeing the country certainly didn't work for Leonardo DiCaprio and Bar Refaeli. Leo is in Israel to meet Bar's parents...must be serious. Yeah, I've heard that one before, you, too?

But their little lovers jaunt got interrupted when a visit to the Western Wall turned ugly. Leo's protective peeps scrapped with some paparazzi, getting two of his bod-goons detained by the coppers. Oops.

And speaking of meeting the finger-pointing types, check out the latest addition to postsecret.com, where peeps send in anonymous postcards stating their biggest secrets to be published in a book. The latest Sunday submission claims one of Hollywood's hottest men secretly fathered a child and is paying off the mom with big bucks.

Click to see the possible candidates for yourself, which include everyone from male pop tarts to fading movie bubs. Oh, and some of the dudes mentioned for possible daddy-hood are friggin' hysterical. You'll know who I mean, I'm sure.

 

So, the fab Cristina Gibson just returned from an even more fabulous vacation in Hawaii, where she and her b-f swam with sharks on the North Shore, a few miles out from the beach where Lost shoots. Sounds scary, but it was totally thrilling, I'm assured. (Coincidentally, yours truly and my b-f, J.P., are heading to the shark-infested isles next month, but since I socialize with those darling little fanged fishy types every day on the mainland, think I'll take a break while I'm in Hawaii...)

 

Now, it just so happened Elizabeth Taylor (she's a dinosaur movie star with a pair o' Oscars and heaps of former endowed lovers, for all you heathens who answer only to stud-magnets such as Paris 'n' Lindsay 'n' Anna Nicole) had taken the very same tour as C.G. and her guy. I'm told the 75-year-old legend rented out the boat and crew for the entire day and brought along about eight handlers. Liz was in her wheelchair at the time, and when they were helping her onto the boat, she hit her head.

"Everyone was freaking out," the skipper whispered, "and asking 'Do you want ice?' and 'Do you want aspirin?' She said no to all the offers." Then, someone asked Wacko Jacko's BFF if she wanted them to kiss her injury. She replied, so say these beachy sources, "yes."

After that little ouchy was pucker-petted by the sweet volunteer, Liz was on her way out to the cage. "She was more gung ho than most people are," the fin source said of Taylor's attitude. "But there weren't that many sharks that day." Bummer!

Nevertheless, I applaud Miz Tee for having the guts—per usual—to go all out. The only bad part of her visit?

"She brought this little dog that kept going to the bathroom all over the boat," the sandy spy bitched.

Gives new meaning to the term "poop deck," huh? Yo, Paris! Will you and your menagerie be on better behavior when you decide to swim with the beady-eyed thangs, I wonder?

Ian Somerhalder, dining with some dudes. The Lost looker with "piercing blue eyes" was spotted at Chaya Venice Saturday night. "He was very sweet and buff like you wouldn't believe!" according to seated witnesses. Oh, I believe it, baby. Masticating and celebrating elsewhere was...

Eddie Murphy, hosting a din-din party for g-f Tracey Edmonds' daddy. The Lodge Steakhouse in the Hills of Bev. Tracey's two boys with former beau Babyface were in attendance. Hugh Laurie was also in the house, albeit at a separate table, downing rib eyes and magnums of cabernet. Making the late night booty-shaking rounds were...

Janet Jackson and Jermaine Dupri, at a Xenii after-party last weekend. Rapper Jim Jones was performing, and the vertically challenged couple was taking in the show. Chingy was also spotted amongst the gyrating masses that night; I know you simply wouldn't sleep unless you were informed so.