Uma Thurman, Eva Longoria

Ramey Photo

Blame bloat, not babies.

Eva Longoria Parker and Uma Thurman are insisting that, despite rampant speculation and unflattering photo ops to the contrary, the only buns in their respective ovens are of the carb-heavy variety...Though they may start thinking about scaling back after the latest round of reports.

Both actresses have been forced to deny rumors that they're pregnant, gossip which gained a life of its own after both typically svelte stars were pictured looking ever-so-slightly less svelte than usual.

For her part, Thurman weathered a slightly more brutal round of expectant conjecture after photos taken of the bikini-clad star with an oddly protrubing belly emerged from her Corsican vacation with millionaire fiancé Arpad Busson.

Her rep wasted no time in coming to the bombshell's defense.

"She is not pregnant," Stephen Huvane told E! News.

Longoria Parker, meanwhile, cut out the mouthpiece middleman and broadcasted her own unexpectant state in the most effective way she knew how: by emailing E! News' Ryan Seacrest.

"I AM NOT PREGNANT," she emphatically wrote in a message.

Earlier today, Longoria Parker's rep attempted to explain away her client's small semblance of a belly—as well as her new cropped cut—by way of the actress' suddenly Method dedication to her craft.

"She's making herself look like that as her character has let herself go," Liza Anderson told People of her Desperate Housewives alter ego, Gabrielle. "Gabrielle has gained weight and cut her hair...And even that was not enough. She's also wearing butt pads and a stomach pad to play the part."

De Niro
never had it so hard.

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