Angelina Jolie, Brad Pitt

Lester Cohen/WireImage.com

So Brangelina has moved to France and Larry Birkhead bought a house in Kentucky. How can they pack their houses up without the paparazzi looking through their stuff?
—Laird, Birmingham, Ala.

Oh, please. It's easy, son! When it comes to moving while famous, celebrities simply hire an A-list schlepping company. It's just like your own mover, except totally not. Unless your mover can...

  • Deploy five or six empty decoy trucks over a period of days, or all at once on the day of the haul
  • Recruit Oprah's dog trainer to keep a star's pooch calm and comfortable during the transition
  • Disperse movers specially trained in thwarting bribes and other paparazzi tricks
  • Hire a moving nanny so A-list children do not have to make eye contact with the guys loading the boxes
  • Bring in cranes or other specialty equipment to haul all the celebrity's custom gym equipment across town
  • Provide organizing tips in case the client collapses under the stress of deciding where the stapler should go
  • Take detailed photos of every cupboard and cranny in the A-lister's home, and then painstakingly reproduce the positioning of each china cup and wayward Vicodin in the new digs, so the star never has to touch a piece of cardboard

See? That's it. Simple!

"Usually it's the agent or assistant who makes the initial call," says Laura McHolm, cofounder of NorthStar Moving. (They count La Jolie as a long-term client but declined to say whether they had specifically helped with the reported move to France.) "They may not use the real name of the person moving, but through the questions they start asking, you start to understand it's a big star."

Sometimes NorthStar will even organize the move in the darkest of night to throw off photographers. And when it comes to service, no job is too small. In at least one instance, the company got a nighttime call from a celebrity requesting that someone come over and move a single chair from one room to another.

The company obliged.

No word on how many decoy chairs were deployed during the operation.

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