Ashlee Simpson, Ellen Degeneres

The Ellen DeGeneres Show

Ashlee Simpson’s uterus is starting to get on our nerves. We understand that every woman has a right to “out” herself whenever she sees fit, but when daddy’s already done it for you and the entire world won’t shut up about it, maybe it’s time to stop fooling us with your fallopian tubes.

So we had hoped that when Ashlee taped the Ellen DeGeneres show yesterday, she’d use her sit-down with the affable, judgment-free Ellen as the right forum to introduce her fetus to the world.

Didn’t happen.

Instead she made Ellen evaluate her bod, standing up and saying, “That is definitely something that I choose personally not to discuss, except for the fact that, maybe, do I look like I had 10 cheeseburgers or something? Because I don't think I do.”

No, Ashlee. You look skinny. Bitch.

The only clue Ashlee maybe kinda gave Ellen was her clever answer to how she knew fiancé Pete Wentz was the one.

“I don’t know,” she said. “Maybe when his jeans fit me. I decided we could wear the same clothes.”

Jeans or genes?

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