Fightin' Words

Which daytime diva is supposedly sayin' nasty-ass things about Britney Spears? Oh no, she didn't! Plus, Donald Faison gives his two cents on the Jessica Simpson and Tony Romo coupling, Paris is up to her old tabletop-esque tricks and guess who else is putting Katherine Heigl on their "naughty" list?

Who’s the latest celeb to be saying horrible things ‘bout our Brit-Brit? Now, look. We love Britney, no joke. Never been so grateful to one bitch before for such a stellar collection of mindless, utterly danceable crap (‘cept maybe Donna Summer, but she was hot back before Lynne Spears was even thinkin’ of gettin’ knocked up over a nice stash of KFC). So, we take Britney bashing very seriously here at AT.

And, no, we’re not going to torture you readers (overly) with this one. Answer’s at the end of the column today. And it is truly shocking. Hideous stuff, too.

Happier (pretty much) times were had at Hollywood Life’s Breakthrough Awards, where we asked stars about their lives before they got famous. Host Donald Faison dished about his old day job: "I never had a real job,” fessed the Scrubs and Robot Chicken dude. "The realest it ever got for me was when I worked at my agent’s office as an assistant, and I filed pictures and sent out breakdowns. I was putting my name on everything. ‘Donald Faison needs to go in for this. He’s good, I promise you!’ "

Looks like Donald hasn’t lost his knack for self-promotion, by the by. While hosting the awards ceremony at the Music Box in Hollywood, Mr. F pleaded for popular boy Judd Apatow to talk to his peeps. "My manager and agent are sitting right over there!” he said more than once. "Y’all should talk.”

We also asked Donald for his two outspoken cents on that latest tonguing twosome, Jessica Simpson and Tony Romo, who recently helped Don and his g-f, Cacee Cobb, celebrate her B-day at Teddy’s. "I think it’s great,” he offered semisincerely. "I’m glad those two are together. As long as it doesn’t distract from his football, it’s all good.” Typical guy, putting sports before love.

Leslie Mann, luscious in a flowin’ coif that we’re sure made fellow Breakthrough guest Kim Kardashian pant, was on hand to receive her very first award for a deft turn in Knocked Up. Ms. M said she was also rather awful at just about everything: "I was just terrible at day jobs, so I never kept one,” she fessed. "I tried to be a waitress, and that was bad. And I tried to sell clothes, and I was terrible. Luckily, I was able to act.”

And, uh, since Les-love did star with Katherine Heigl in Knocked, and she just happens to be Judd’s wife-unit, we wondered what was the funny femme’s take on Katie’s comments that the comedy was sexist?

 "Um…what do I think about that?” she stalled, in response to our query, before turning to her publicist. "What did I think about that?” L.M.’s hovering publicist remained silent. Stunning. 

"I don’t know,” Leslie finally offered, before adding she hasn’t talked to her onscreen sister since those prickly comments came out. And that, darlin’ amigas, was that. That flack musta actually been pinching Les-love’s ass the whole time, after all. Girlfriend sure did shut the ef up!

Things inside the awards show were just as awkward at certain times, but you’ll just have to wait until tomorrow to find out what happened. Here’s a preview: It involves two Joshes (Brolin and Duhamel) and their turns at the podium, plus one J.R. Rotem—it'll be tense, trust.

Paris Hilton, sneaking shots. Paris, in a nude pink dress, hit Cameo Friday night with Stavros and a few others. The tawdry twosome kept the PDA to a minimum this time, instead opting to dance and chat quietly. At 1:30 ayem, Paris was downing shots of vodka, which she chased with Red Bull, natch. "In a PR-saavy move, she turned her back to the cameras so they wouldn’t catch her getting her drink on, but I clocked her,” said our eagle-eyed, 80-proof spy. Certainly not censoring himself in another city was…

George Lopez, hosting PAMA’s breast cancer benefit at Opera. "She isn’t here, right?” George cracked about train wreck of the moment Amy Winehouse. “Good, then, I won’t be stepping over anyone on the bathroom floor.” So Britney of Georgey-Porgey, huh? And, hey now, thought this was a charity event! Also in the house were Teri Hatcher, Kristy Swanson and Shane West. More affable back in South Beach was…

Eva Mendes, goofing around before unveiling her calendar. The Latina looker was hangin’ in the custodial room at the House of Campari in Miami before the event. “She was taking pictures with the staff on her camera phone and playing around with the toilet paper stash and doing silly poses,” sassed Desk SoBe. Eva was also overheard saying she wants people to know she knows how to have fun. And that’s without trendy energy drinks and stiff booze, too—amazing, she must be lying. Peeps having a gay old time elsewhere included…

Tom Cruise, David Beckham and David's boys, at the Spice Girls show Friday night. Staples Center in Hell-Ay. No Kate or Suri in sight, musta been in the loo doing each other’s hair. “Victoria cried onstage at the end and blew T ‘n’ D kisses,” reports a smooch-witness. Two Nicoles were also spotted spicing up their lives at the same overdone affair: Richie, with Joel Madden, very preggers and in line for CPK pizza, and Scherzinger, posing for pics with fans, one of which ever so kindly gave her bunny ears. Darling.

And to answer today’s beginning query? Here goes.

There was a rather private affair going down recently. But in a quasi-public place. And, very loudly, heard by a nearby put-out peep or two, was Tyra Banks, talk-show terrible, proclaiming the following:

“[Britney] should just go ahead and kill herself after the album and go out like Marilyn, very grand. She should have done it after the last album.”

Tyra, love, why? Are you that desperate to become Jerry Springer that you’re now thinking like him off camera, too? 

Surely, you didn’t actually say this?

"This is absolutely not true," responded a rep for the coast-switching boob-tube host, who offered no further elaboration, quite unlike the original sources, who claim Tyra was most animated in her unsettling opinion, and that Banks was hardly trying to be quiet about the scandalous words. Gosh, what to do?

Who the ef's tellin' the truth here? Sorry, babes, leavin' this one up to you to decide.