“He doesn’t handle loneliness well, so he overcompensates and makes poor decisions sometimes,” added our Armstrong en famille infiltrators, before delivering our personal fave cupid quirk: “[Lance] was used to a certain public lifestyle with Sheryl.” And it’s a pap-infested lifestyle, natch, that L now sorely misses—as if anyone with an eye for half-nudie pantin’ pics of Lance and Matty M jogging, breathless, heaving and near-orgasmically moist, hadn’t noticed.
Apparently, the shock rocker has taken to turning up at parties for the free booze, say those who get belched on right next to Rose McGowan’s ex. (Who was the winner in that split? Hard to say, isn’t it?) M2’s drink of choice is Kübler Absinthe, according to in-the-know types.
Uh, can we please ask what, exactly, does the talented ERW see in this overly blushed boy? ‘Cause we’re pretty certain it isn't his looks that are keeping her under his strange spell. Rose, wanna weigh in here? Or are you still not speaking to us?
Best part was the strained looks on the teeny kiddies in the background trying to figure out who the heck Tom Cruise was, precisely. I mean, isn’t he that dude who’s Katie Holmes' father-in-law or something?