Paternity Party?

As the list of the guys who could be Dannielynn’s daddy grows, we get Larry King’s two cents on the sitch and his thoughts on Anna Nicole, post tragedy. Plus, Lindsay Lohan gives her wallet a workout with some serious retail therapy!

As the days since the Anna Nicole tragedy grow more distant, those who knew the starlet have begun to comment on the wacko life she lived—and, trust, these folks haven't spared deets on the good, the bad 'n' the trashy. Seems like everyone in Dubya's 'Mare-kuh wants to know: Who's Dannielynn's dad? The list of potential fathers now includes—brace yourselves for this one—five men. And of what variety they come!

In the past week, Zsa Zsa Gabor's hub-unit, Frederic von Anhalt, among others, made claims to be the baby-daddy, and now Alexander Denk, who worked as a bodyguard for Smith, told Extra that not only did he have an affair with Smith, but it is possible he is the father. And let's not disregard the chance of deceased oil tycoon pops-could-be, J. Howard Marshall. Seems it's in the proverbial daddy-o chances that Marshall's sperm may have been frozen and somehow made its way to Anna's ovaries sometime last year, too cute for words.

Oh, that Howard K. Stern must be pissing his pants. Literally. (And all these whacked-out possibilities don't even touch on the notion that I may be Anna Nicole's second kid's papa—as, remember, Ms. Smith was getting me delirious with her determined search to conquer my phallus during one of our interviews. However, don't think that was recent enough to keep me in the pops running...)

Now, only recently was I yappin' 'bout how Larry King was the tawk of the deli the day I walked into Nate 'n Al and received the call on my cell that Anna had passed. And now the CNN gab-show host himself is weighin' in on who he thinks is the real father:

"I would bet Larry. He seems more open...but I don't know," he replied, when I approached him at Clive Davis' Pre-Grammy bash on Saturday peeyem. (His blondie wife Shawn was on his arm, by the by, so whatever spat went down in the deli is so forgotten.) Lar-hon def wasn't a stranger to Anna's always up 'n' down outlook on life. He interviewed Anna and was a witness to her weight fluctuations.

 "She was pretty and then she wasn't pretty," he said. "When she was slim, she was drop-dead gorgeous. When she was fat, she was ugly."

Leave it to Larry to be blunt as a kick to the nether regions. "When she was drinking, she was tough to be around," he added. "When she wasn't, she was a ton of fun." Really? Anyone who's seen video clips of Anna on a bender can only guess how loopy the gal must have been after a couple o' cocktails.

But I must say I disagree with Mr. Kay—to a point. Anna was high as Whitney Houston's album chart every time I interviewed the former drive-thru hostess. She was, even in that chemically altered state, perfectly sweet, even charming.

Not to mention intolerably horny—no wonder everybody in the damn world's a potential dad to this darling Danielynn.

Lindsay Lohan, in supersize shades 'n' boots, doin' some damage to her credit card. La Lohan hit Urban Outfitters in San Luis Obispo, where she's on location shooting I Know Who Killed Me, and dropped $3,000, which buys a buttload at that plebian priced store, don't ya know. I'm told Linds was handing off all selections to her goon-guard to tote as she shopped, and she made small talk with the salesgirl who waited on her. Waiting just as patiently in Hell-Ay was none other than...

Gabrielle Union, dressed in white from head to toe, at Swingers in Santa Monica. Gab was refreshingly undiva-esque, as she and her entourage waited their turn for a table like us normal folk do! Love. And Gab-babe was even playing paparazzi! G.U. and her peeps occupied themselves by snapping pics outside the restaurant. Also enjoying a friendly meal was...

Jack Osbourne and an unknown male amigo, dining on egg burritos at the Griddle Café in West Hollywood. Is that how he keeps so thin 'n' trim, currently? Hope the poor thing's holdin' up fine after his reality show Armed and Famous—in which he and La Toya Jackson play cops and robbers—got canned after just four episodes. Poor Jackie-poo! Wonder if he'll ever be able to fill the shoes of legendary but loopy pops...

Ozzy Osbourne, who recently took wife Sharon out for a night on the town. The not-so-cozy couple took in a showing of Babel at the ArcLight Cinemas in Hollywood. Desk Popped Kernels tells me the duo was lookin' a bit grumpy and hardly spoke to each other the entire eve! We know the flick's a bit of a downer, but isn't date night, like, cause to celebrate? Especially when you're über-rich and have got, like, 10 Pomeranians? Other poker-faced peeps include...

Charlie Sheen, catching a play on campus. Loyola Marymount University on Saturday night. His daughter Cassandra was performing in said production, and Charlie brought along g-f Brooke Allen to watch his offspring act. "Brooke looked like she dressed from the Heidi Fleiss Kinky Couture line," sniffed my boards spy. I'm also told Charlie, clad in Levi's, a button-down shirt and a blazer, didn't crack a smile once throughout the funny offering. In better spirits elsewhere was...

Paula Abdul, givin' her John Hancock for a good cause. The AI judge signed (but didn't drink from) a Swarovski-studded Hpnotiq bottle to be auctioned off for charity while she swung by the Grammy Style Studio. Paula gave—but also got lots of goodies, like Stetson hats and Tweezerman products. Maybe she can give Simon Cowell's brows a touch-up?