The TomKat Camp votes a big thumbs-up for the once-dubbed Missus Cruise, Nic K., while Russell Crowe sends messy moods flyin’ in the Southwest. The nosey peeps have it, and we’re servin’ it to you on an awful-platter…


Katie Holmes, Tom Cruise

Rogers & Cowan/Robert Evans

Before we get to Russell Crowe's potty fist (hey, he's from Australia, trust me, it's the correct expression, even if they don't have it Down Under), I just have to mention a little TomKat dish. You all okay with that? Fine. I don't care if you're not, here we go, regardless:

"Far more."

This was the answer a group of Tom Cruise buds (which, let's face it, are mostly professional, as Mr. Cruise seldom seems to find much time for personal relationships of any kind) gave regarding their opinion on how much they liked the former Missus C., as opposed to the latest one. Ironically, the Hell-Ay do where said wifey discourse went down was a small affair to celebrate TomKat's wholly overblown nuptials in Italy.

(For the bitchy spousal record, the original T.C. wife-unit, Mimi Rogers, never came up for discussion.)

Nicole Kidman

Dan Herrick/KPA/

 Whoa! Nicole Kidman, girlfriend, you still have some major fans deep inside Camp Cruise, who knew? I mean, I just find it, so, well, interesting, as I think there are like, maybe, no fans whatsoever of Tommy-doll left alive in Nic's private groupie set. Weird, huh?

Not really, considering how much T.C. iced Nic, but that's another story, right? No, actually. That's another book. Wasn't Andrew Morton supposed to be writing it? Where the hell is that sucker? Andy? Lawsuit-happy cat got your tongue?

Back to poor Katie-hon:

Midwestern poop is equally glum, regarding the newest babe to wed Tommy C.:

Katie Holmes

James Devaney/

See, Desk Toledo has been all over the return of the Holmes' fam, post-castle hitching. And I'm afraid I have the most chilling tale to tell, regarding Katie's close relatives immediately after they got back. But, then again, it's not so much what these fam members said.

It's what they didn't.

We have mutual amigos, see. And, get this: Several members of the Holmes clan have been in contact with my pals (and their pals, and my pal's pals, and so friggin' on), and guess what?

Not one word about the wedding. From anybody. Sorry, but, that's just chilling. What the ef's up, Camp Holmes? Stay creepy tuned on this one...

Russell Crowe

If I'm not bitchin' on Leo DiCaprio's girlie hairdo in Blood Diamond (an otherwise noble but deadly boring flick—Djimon Hounsou's standout performance not included), I'm blabbin' on things down Russell Crowe way. New Mexico, to be exact. That's where R.C., previously known to throw about the place everything from his temper to telephones, is supposedly showing colleagues on the set of his western flick 3:10 to Yuma, a kinder, gentler personality.

Ain't happening. "He has serious anger issues," relays a source from Desk Yuma.

Gosh, Mr. C., are ya sure you're ready to tell the world you're all repentant 'n' stuff? Sounds like ya still got a lotta fight left in ya, boyfriend! And what are you so angry about, anyway? Only one Oscar not good enough for you?

Lindsay Lohan, Harry Morton

1560/Most Wanted/

Lindsay Lohan, cruisin' the Miracle Mile, more low key than usual. Ms. L. was spotted in her black Benz convertible Thursday afternoon, making a left off La Brea onto 6th Street. Her passenger was a random blond babe, and the top was up, for once, thank gawd! No paps in sight—is L2 finally wisin' up? Also tryin' to go incognito was...

Leonardo DiCaprio

Daniele Venturelli/

Leonoardo DiCaprio gettin' his cordoned culture fix. Leo took a break from promoting the Blood Diamond to check out "Bodies...The Exhibition," at the South Street Seaport, New Yawk. Forensic witnesses say Leo's bod looked buff 'n' bulked up as he browsed with his gal friend. L.D.C. was tryin' to be all incognito, donning a low baseball cap, but he "didn't fool anyone," say these fleshy types. Oh, why even try, bro? Comin' out for a more charitable cause was...

Adrian Grenier

Rodrigo Varela/WireImage

Adrian Grenier, newly shorn and sex-ay, at the Stuff Mag/Casio Toys for Bigger Boys benefit for the Keep a Child Alive Foundation. The Entourage star was sportin' a short new 'do and bid on a flat-screen TV. Poor A.G. didn't win anything, but a gal who did get lucky was...

Jennifer Hudson

Jesse Grant/

Jennifer Hudson, breakout star of Dreamgirls, gettin' the VIP treatment at the same event. Ms. H., surely to be nominated for an Oscar this cutthroat diva season, was rushed through the press line and into the VIP area, where she watched OK Go perform and got swag from Casio, Maxell and Aldo. It's good to be famous, huh, Jen? On said benevolent note…

Mark Wahlberg

Nancy Kaszerman/

Mark Wahlberg told the fab Cristina Gibson at the Boys & Girls Club shopping spree at Old Navy in Hell-Ay: "I certainly give more gifts than I get... When I was like 19 or 20, it really changed for me. Seeing how happy kids are and seeing what a big deal this is for them, it's great." Oh, brother. Doesn't this dude do anything naughty, like regift or somethin'? "Yeah. The people I work with, or at home, friends or whatever, but I don't unwrap something and rewrap it and give it to someone else." Whew! Boy's got manners like…

Jamie Lee Curtis

David Livingston/

Jamie Lee Curtis has the fastest legs I've seen since Clay Aiken swished away from that totally prissy be-yotch, Kelly Ripa. Christopher Guest's mucho talented—and curvy, very sexy mom-a-licious, that one—other half tore outta the same medical building (which is simply infested with shrinks) I was leaving, post my therapist time. And, heaven's, do I need it as much as Ms. C. needs a friggin' comeback, already. Hey, is The Graduate ready to be remade yet? Mrs. Robinson, Jamie's your newest gal!

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