Funny thing: Last week in New Yawk, Queen Noor of Jordan (I'm sure you're just on the edges of your divans waiting for goss on this broad) had a little fancy-schmancy event at the Mandarin. And guess who just happened to wander in? None other than those freshly dissected chicken wings, the Kevin Federlines!
The Middle Eastern royalty set was aghast, because not only were the K-Feds uninvited and not really dressed for the posh-snitty crowd ("touristy" hissed one horrified soiree guest) but said trailer heathens were smoking! Very puff-puff-look-at-me stuff.
Britney and her soon-to-be-exiled wife-beater-wearin' dude were promptly asked to leave, which they did—very slowly. But ya wanna know what's only slightly weird here? As the kicked-out couple were finally exiting, they did something together I find either scary or endearing, not sure which.
They were holding hands the entire time.
Oh, get real: Lindsay Lohan told Oprah on Tuesday that she ain't a party girl. "I'm 20 years old!" she dodged when asked about her rowdy rep. "Is it a crime to go dancing with your friends?"
Actually, doll, it is when the said booty-shakin' spots are for peeps 21 and older.
But, we all know L.L. is (apparently) above the law, right? Take her Saturday night out at Area, for ince. Saint Lohan hit the happenin' spot o' the moment for drinks and dancing with a few gal-pals. But it wasn't long before she was joined by some get-down guys, too: Pete Wentz, who may or may not be dating Ashlee Simpson, and Deryck Whibley, who's married to Avril Lavigne.
So, should we expect Ash and Av to jump her freckled butt anytime soon?
Nah, looked like everyone was havin' strictly friends fun, talkin' and laughin' together. No tongue kissing or lap dances, luckily. Anyhow, Linds, in a black dress, was flittin' around the club, requesting songs and even helping one random girl through the overcrowded club at one packed point.
Bet she's glad she didn't run into her ex-boy-toy Harry Morton, who was also at the same spot that night but managed to avoid crossing paths with L2.
Or maybe that's why she came in the first place—ya think?
'Cause there's nothin' like bumpin' 'n' grindin' on the dance floor in front of your ex to make him want you back, right?
Paris Hilton, lookin' rather lonesome at the Motorola party. P's banquette contained only her skinny self and a g-friend, compared to Lindsay's crowded table, which was stuffed to the gills with partygoers that one assumes are of appropriate age and moral codes. Back near booth Hilton, Pete Wentz and Matt Dallas were seated in front of Miz H., and she eventually made conversation with the dudes and got them to join her emptyish table before Christina Aguilera took the stage. Bet P.H. was cheered up by the In-N-Out truck stationed outside the bash, givin' free burgers to guests as they left. Preventive measures, perhaps, so P. can't say, "All I wanted was an In-N-Out burger!" like she did when she got legal bitch-slapped a ways back (Lindsay Lohan should be so karma served)? Causing a late-night stir elsewhere was...
Sacha Baron Cohen, makin' a rare appearance as himself. The funny fella, who plays Borat and is currently tearing up the box office, was seen steppin' out of character at the SNL after-party for host Hugh Laurie. Sapa in New Yawk. S.B.C. was hugged by producer Lorne Michaels and later exchanged laughs and drinks with SNL castmembers Seth Meyers, Amy Poehler and Will Arnett. A crustier comic on another coast was...
Dana Carvey, havin' a healthy bite to eat at Hell-Ay's Newsroom Café. D.C. was spotted Wednesday in a black turtleneck and mullet-styled 'do—perhaps a throwback tribute to his Wayne's World character, Garth? Mr. C. had friends in knee-slappin' hysterics during their meal—didn't know health food was so freakin' funny. Watching his intake in sandier locales was...
Go see Fur, starring Nicole Kidman and Robert Downey Jr. It's the loosely based story of weirdo-subject photographic genius Diane Arbus, played deftly by Kidman—no cold-ass Cold Mountain crap in this flick, I'm tellin' ya.
But have to tattle on that Downey Jr. badass. He does a ta-riff job as a guy with a terrible hirsute prob, who, for an ince, decides to shave it all off. Can I blab about something? When Bobby's fake hair comes off (which he wears for most of the movie and which literally covers every inch of his bod, face included), you can see every hard-livin', late night on that man's face, once it's finally revealed, 40 feet wide. Not pretty.