Alex Rodriguez, Cynthia Scurtis, Lenny Kravitz, Madonna

AP Photo / LMartinez, Dimitrios Kambouris/, Nathan Strange/

As has been widely reported elsewhere, both Madonna and Lenny Kravitz have released statements denying any role in breaking up the marriage of New York Yankee Alex Rodriguez and his wife, Cynthia.

Here at The Soup Blog, we'd like to take this opportunity to also come clean about our noninvolvement in the separation.

We state vehemently and unequivocably that despite the fact that our client, Clog Narter, has on multiple occasions hissed and catcalled at the three-time American League MVP from the bleachers of the Seattle Mariners' ballfield, this happened many years ago and only ever in the spirit of the game. There has been no further relationship between Mr. Narter and either Mr. or Mrs. Rodriguez. Additionally, we would like to state for the record that although we at one time enjoyed keeping up with baseball, nowadays we find it more rewarding to watch afternoon reruns of The Rockford Files. End of statement.

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