Rotten Fruit

Robert King/ZUMApress.com

These are just truly horrid. There's no other way around it. Our apologies to all readers.

Why is Oprah such a loser?
Because she’s win free.

What TV and film actress is always looking for mistletoe?
Holly Hunter

What kind of cheese forecasts the weather?
Al Roquefort

What's the most popular game show among sushi chefs?
Eel or no eel

What do you call a device that calculates distance traveled and annoys Donald Trump?
A Rosie O’Dometer

What do you get when you cross The View with deep-sea fishing?
The Deadliest Klatch

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