Momager Alert! Which of Kris Jenner's Keeping Up With the Kardashians Quotes Makes You Laugh the Most?

By Johnni Macke Jul 23, 2018 3:00 PMTags
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Hey, dolls, it's almost time for another season of Keeping Up With the Kardashians! Are you excited?

With just a few weeks to go (the season premiere is Aug. 5) until the reality series returns for its 15th season on E! we had to take a trip down memory lane and shine a spotlight on the world's greatest momager...Kris Jenner.

As the matriarch of the Kardashian-Jenner clan, Kris is someone who should be listened to, even if she's just as wild as her children at times.

After 14 seasons of shenanigans from everyone in this family we wanted to show some love to Kris, because let's be honest without her there would be even more anarchy in the family.

With each and every episode we love Kris and her children more than before and part of that is due to all of their unfiltered sassy moments. Leave it to the 62-year-old reality star and momager of the year to keep the zingers coming in hot. 

It's her hilarious quotes that keep us coming back for more—and all of the moments of love between the family members, duh—and with the head of the family there are almost too many quotes to talk about.

Since most of the time "Satan" as Khloe Kardashian has called her in the past, is focused on work and getting her girls ready for their next gig we're focusing on her most LOL momager quotes of all time...with a few random snarky comments for good measure.

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Keeping Up With Kris Jenner's European Vacation

1. "Kim, would you stop taking pictures of yourself? Your sister is going to jail!

This is probably the most iconic line that Kris has ever said. When Khloe was arrested for a DUI, Kim Kardashian was taking selfies in the car with Kris like it was no big deal, so of course their super mom shut it down quickly. It was too funny and a total mom and momager move.

2. "Ugh, for the love of Kanye."

Some moms say, "for the love of Pete," but not Kris Jenner. The pop-culture loving star used her son-in-law's name to make this phrase even more dramatic and we want to start using it in our daily vocabulary ASAP.

3. "I don't have cell service here, and it's making me have a rash."

The sign of a true work horse.

4. "I'm not crazy! I'm chilling."

The 62-year-old star is used to being called "crazy" by her family, but when she replied with "I'm chilling" we couldn't help but love her more.

5. "You kind of look like My Little Pony meets Katy Perry."

Oooh, burn! After Kylie Jenner debuted blue locks a few years ago, this is what her mom said to her and it's so harsh but so funny.

6. "It's an emergency! We don't have a wine opener."

The good news is that in the case of an emergency, this boss has a plan B and therefore you know she got that bottle open some way.

7. "I think my favorite day of this last year was probably the day when Oprah came over."

Not when one of her grandchildren was born or anything related to the family...Oprah. We see you Kris!

8. "I drank that wine without touching the bottle…and people say we have no talent."

LOL, she has a point. 

9. "This is my bible."

No matter what her kids do, Kris is a massive fan of them. This was especially true when the matriarch clutched onto her copy of Vogue featuring Kim and Kanye West on the cover. It's a total boss moment and super funny since Kim may or may not be her favorite. 

10. "Some people paint, others make music and dance, I make table settings."

The lady knows her skill set and boy, does she work those skills.

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11. "Payback's a b**ch."

This is so simple and yet when Kris says it to her girls we can't help but laugh based on her super sassy tone.

12. "Honey, anytime there are balls involved, it's my kind of game."

Oh, Kris, you're too much.

13. "Don't eat the pizza. Do not eat one piece of that pizza, it could be poison."

Overprotective mom much? When pizzas were delivered to the Kardashian household and no one ordered them, Kris began screaming out these commands and it was a protective mama moment for sure, but funny nonetheless.

14. "I need some of that tequila that Cindy Crawford drinks."

Who doesn't?

15. "You never do selfies with me. One day when I'm not here you're going to regret it."

Poor mama Kris, always feeling left out. Although, we're pretty confident there are a lot of selfies of the momager out there so, she really has nothing to worry about.

16. Kim: "I want to do a documentary on my life and show all of this." Kris: "Oh, what a great idea, maybe call it Keeping Up With The Kardashians."

This might be one of our favorite responses that the matriarch has ever spouted. She shut Kim down so quickly and it's hilarious.

17. "You're doing amazing sweetie!" when Kim posed nude

Who can forget the time that Kris was on set with Kim for her nude photo shoot and she couldn't help but go all Mean Girls mom on her by taking photos herself and getting very involved in the shoot? 

Oh Kris, we cannot wait to keep up with you and the rest of your wildly fun family when Keeping Up With the Kardashians returns next month!

(E! is a part of the NBC Universal family)

Poll

Kris Jenner's Best Quotes Poll

Which of Kris Jenner's momager approved quotes makes you laugh the most?
"Your sister is going to jail!"
35.3%
"Ugh, for the love of Kanye."
2.1%
"I don't have cell service here, and it's making me have a rash."
3.1%
"I'm not crazy! I'm chilling."
1.3%
"You kind of look like My Little Pony meets Katy Perry."
1.5%
"It's an emergency! We don't have a wine opener."
2.9%
"Probably the day when Oprah came over."
0.8%
"...and people say we have no talent."
5.2%
"This is my bible."
0.2%
"I make table settings."
0.2%
"Payback's a b**ch."
1.1%
"Honey, anytime there are balls involved, it's my kind of game."
2.9%
"Do not eat one piece of that pizza, it could be poison."
1%
"I need some of that tequila that Cindy Crawford drinks."
1.9%
"You never do selfies with me."
0.4%
"Maybe call it Keeping Up With The Kardashians."
22.3%
"You're doing amazing sweetie!"
17.9%

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