Madonna, Brahim Zaibat

Hypnotics / Splash News

There's a story in In Touch magazine about how Madonna won't allow her boyfriend, who is 29 years younger than she is, use her toilet. Considering he probably still wets the bed, this is the least of their problems. But the "source," who is so close to Madonna that he or she tells tabloids about her personal bathroom preferences, went on to say that she doesn't even let her own children use the toilet. "It's just her thing...this is the one thing she doesn't want to share." I personally wish if there was something she didn't want to share, it would be photos of her over developed biceps with my eyes. I've never thought that growing up in Madonna's house looked like a ton of fun, and this story seals the deal. A Saturday night at home there sounds like it consists of no television, cheeseless pizza and peeing outside. Even Chunk watches as much TV as he wants and gets to use my toilet as long as he remembers to put the seat back down. He does have to eat cheeseless pizza, but that's just because he's lactose intolerant. Chunk Handler: 1, Madonna family: 0.

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