Jessica Simpson


There are photos all over the tabloids of Jessica Simpson out at a club looking very intoxicated. She was reportedly drinking vodka, champagne and doing shots. People say she was a "sloppy mess" at the end of the night, but I think she looks just fine in the photos. Sure, she looks a little drunk, but that's what you're supposed to look like when you're going through a breakup. Actually, she's never looked happier to me. This is a Jessica Simpson that I can get onboard with. I like it. I like it a lot. In fact, as someone who's been to this prom and done this dance, I'd like to offer some words of advice to the girl: Always have a designated driver, stop mixing your alcohol—you only need the vodka—and never, under any circumstances, trust the drive-through worker at Del Taco when they tell you that your entire order is in the bag.

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