Season One
"Well, you and I have different management styles. I believe work should be fun, and you try to crush people's spirits. What's next, Michael? Are you going to make dancing illegal? Is this the tiny town from Footloose?"—Lindsay
Season One
"I don't criticize you! And if you're worried about criticism, sometimes a diet is the best defense."—Lucille
Season One
"Not tricks, Michael, illusions. A trick is something a whore does for money."—Gob
Season Two
"Well, Michael, you really are quite the Cupid, aren't you? I tell you, you can sink your arrow into my buttocks any time."—Tobias
Season Two
"I'm a monster!"—Buster
Season Two
Lindsay: "Oh, hi, Mom. I have the afternoon free."
Lucille: "Really? Did nothing cancel?"
Season Three
"What's Spanish for 'I know you speak English?'"—Lucille
Season One
"I've made a huge mistake."—Gob
Season Three
"I heard the jury's still out on science."—Gob
Season Two
"I'm afraid I prematurely shot my wad on what was supposed to be a dry run if you will, so I'm afraid I have something of a mess on my hands."—Tobias
Season Three
"OK, Lindsay, are you forgetting that I was a professional twice over: An analyst and a therapist, the world's first 'analrapist.'"—Tobias
Season One
"No touching!"—Prison guard
Season One
"It's the last time you'll see these!"—Kitty
Season One
"Annyong."
Season Two
"Swoop me, dragon!" – Uncle Jack
Season Two
"I'm afraid I just blue myself."—Tobias
Season One
"Steve Holt!"
Season One
Tobias: "As you may or may not know, Lindsay and I have hit a bit of a rough patch."
Michael: "Really? When did that start?"
Tobias: "Well, I don't want to blame it all on 9/11, but it certainly didn't help."
Season One
Michael: Her?