"Most people don't realize I lost 10 pounds during that performance."—Jesse on performing "Bohemian Rhapsody"
"I'm not totally gay, but I think that trees are born the same way as babies, so kicking me out would be kind of mean."—Brittany
"Keep rocking that mullet Ricky. Maybe in 10 years it'll come back in style."—Puck
"Mr. Shue, when I met you I was just an annoying Jewish girl with two gay dads and a very big dream. Today, I still have two dads, and I'm still Jewish, and I'm probably just as annoying."—Rachel
"I always go to the yelling place. I have rage."—Santana
"Puckerman, I respect your commitment to winning, but without a doubt you are the ugliest woman I have ever seen. For a second there, I thought you were Beiste's sister."—Sue
"William, I can taste your Axe body spray."—Sue
"You dance like you've got your feet caught in bear traps, and you're trying to gnaw them off."—Puck to Sam
"I vowed not to speak with you unless William and Kate got pregnant, Liza passed, or unless one of us was in grave danger."—Rachel to Kurt
"I spent the weekend sending your photo to ivory poachers who could make an absolute fortune selling your enormous white teeth on the black market."—Sue to Roz
Teacher: "Noah, why are you closing the door?"Puck: "So the chemistry doesn't get out."
"Quinn, you're still dancing in my dreams. And you can fly and breathe fire."—Brittany
"You've stuck by me, forgiven me for sleeping with your women. Not everyone in my life has done that. One cougar's husband even chased me around with a gun."—Puck to his bros
"Finn sends me cutesy text messages all the time. Usually they're puns about my boobs, but I still appreciate the effort."—Rachel
"You just need to start storing your poops in the trunk."–Brittany to Santana
"I have no idea who Porcelain is refering to. I'm assuming it's gay and niche."—Sue
"I'm sorry, are you talking to me right now? Because I can't tell if you are talking to me if you don't point your finger."–Cooper
"It's springtime. I would like to see something give birth."—Brittany
"It also wouldn't kill you to stop letting Kurt pick out your clothes."—Cooper to Blaine
"Blaine, your brother is the best looking man in North America."–Kurt
"I want Lord Tubbington to kick his ecstasy addiction."—Brittany
"When you were singing that song, you were singing it to Finn and only Finn, right? He really does make you so happy. I want to support you, Rachel, and Finn, and come to the wedding. If it's not too late."—Quinn to Rachel
Sebastian: "You give the gay community cutting-edge fashions usually only seen on Puerto-Rican Pride floats.Kurt: "I'm sorry, I can't hear you over your giant horse teeth."
"But you're gonna get through this. Cause I'm gonna help you. And so is everyone else who loves you and accepts you for who you are. And if they can't accept that then, screw them. Right?"—Kurt to Dave