by Ted Casablanca | Fri., Feb. 6, 2009 9:37 AM
No question, just pointing out that you go on and on about gays and yet I rarely see anyone of color in your polls—such as the current who do you want to see in the buff on screen. I didn't take that poll because I am not really interested in seeing any of those pasty white guys naked. Get some color—and I don't mean your roots, or the fake spray tan.
Look, missy, my roots may be fake but my particular shade of skin cancer is not. Nor is my love for my African-American brothers 'n' sisters. More Awful power to the nonwhiteys comin' your way pronto!
How would you rate Sarah Palin's chances for 2012?
—Palin Fan (not!)
Dear Far 'n' Away:
About as good as mine.
Dear Troubles in Paradise:
Ben seems more miserable in pics recently than he ever was staring at J.Lo's booty. Clearly, it's time for his dumb-blonde phase. Chace Crawford, maybe, for a change?
I'm done with Jennifer Lopez, Russell Crowe and Christian Bale. Who do these people think they are? I can't believe they get away with it. I will not give one cent toward any project they're in ever!
Even when the third Batman comes out? Bet ya fail.
First of all, why don't you have your own show? I love all your hilarious videos. After you answer that question, please answer the mystery of Mickey Rourke and the subject of his often mentioned "failed career." Every time Mickey Rourke is interviewed he mentions how lucky he is for being cast in The Wrestler because he's "been out of work for 14 years." I just looked him up on IMDB and he's been working steadily. Is he just trying to act like he's so hard up the Academy voters will be sympathetic?
Dear Wrestle Wrangler:
Perish the thought. And, darling, Truth Lies & Ted is my own show!
You have got to tell me what is up with Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson! Did you see that kiss? I think we can both concede that they had to have been mixing business with pleasure. Any deets?
Dear Wishful Smooching:
Don't think Rob has any problemo mixing business and pleasure. The lust's on! (As it so has been for ages, quite contrary to popular belief.)
You're right about some of Michelle Obama's dresses. They are awful. She's cute, but I think her fashion sense is a bit overrated. Anyways, I just stumbled across your blog and now I'm hooked.
—Nona, South Africa
Gal has four more years to bust out some winners, though.
Don't you think Christian Bale should now be called A Dark and Stormy Knight?
I think we can come up with much worse than that, dear.
Read you every day. Was wondering...has Colin Farrell been the subject of any Blind Vices?
Dear Is That a Joke:
His parts have been too many places for him to not be one.
Sorry, nope. Creative guess though. Think, uh, less cute.
I live in Brazil, and Tom Cruise was here these past few days for the Valkyrie premiere. All the press could talk about is how nice he is. He really is! He smiled all the time, shook hands, took pictures and signed autographs for everyone—even for a homeless man. I truly believe what you said about him (that he is incredibly kind). Is there any way that he could regain his "biggest movie star in the world" status, or did the couch jumping really ruin things forever?
—Sleepless in Rio
Dear Keep Sleeping:
Much as I adore Tom, don't think he'll dethrone his pal Will anytime soon.
I've been wondering about Christian Bale's crazy tirade. Apparently this happened just a few days before his family had to call in the cops on him last summer. Did he just have a really bad couple of weeks, or is he actually this much of an a-hole? Do you have any personal experience you'd like to share?
He's as crazy as Crowe, but he's got better taste. Total meltdown not happening anytime soon.
I think you are a hoot and I love your site. The bright yellow is a great lift! My question is: What has happened to Madonna's face? She looks like Priscilla Presley after she went to the Dr. Auto Mechanic. What is going on?
Dear Lift Off:
Must be working if she's boning someone a third her age.
Do you think Evan Rachel Wood's statement about feeling disrespected by the press and Mickey Rourke was appropriate? Do you think it will affect Mickey's chance for an Oscar? Thing is, she dated Marilyn Manson, who to me is the epitome of gross. Guess there's different levels of gross.
Dear Press Politics:
Sure, practically anything is appropriate in the press nowadays, but do I think she was right? No.
Just started reading your column and spent three hours looking through archives. Loved it! But what is the real deal with Tom Cruise: gay or not? Contract marriage? Or seriously just love at first sight. (Katie is one lucky bitch!)
What in those three hours gave you any of those ideas?
Dear Smells a Showdown:
Well, one of them sure did.
Don't you find it ironic that while Jennifer Aniston starred in the highest-grossing Christmas movie of 2008, she has not been a presenter at any of the award shows this season? Wonder why?
Dear I Don't Believe You:
She's still got a couple more chances, remember, including the big one. And I suspect it'll be a pretty gay show, which is right up that broad's alley.